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A NEW NINETIES U.S EDITION PART 5: THREE SLUGGERS FROM LOUISVILLE

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Rodan
You should know better . You’ve been here long enough. Wasn’t it back in 31 when you hopped the Idlewild on Rose Island and stowed away to Louisville, the Fontaine Ferry Gun Shy still ringing in your ears? They changed her name to Avalon and you still hung on, through the floods of 37 and the winds of 74 and here you are, in 1992, about to get hit by a train, a creaking hulking stealthy truck of wonder called ‘Rusty’. You should know better than to be over Floyd’s Fork Creek this time of night. Unique acoustics round here. You can’t hear the trains coming. You won’t see the Pope Link Monster  til the last moment. Till his syphilitic blue eyes roll over white . . . .blue over white, water over foam over water over foam and the deluge keeps on coming: rotate yourselves downriver and ask what is it about this place that means the music it makes is so clear, so engulfed, so utterly out on its own? You may have been told that Louisville sounded like Squirrelbait first and then sounded  like ‘Spiderland’ afterwards, but ohh what a withered reductive way to hear this city’s music, this city that for the bulk of the 90s was making some of the most fascinating American music of all. Forget Spiderland, for a while at least, stop its bullying presence and it’s easy digestion as totem of post-rock seminality. Eternally love‘Rusty’. For its suggestions haven’t been wrung dry, its wonders not fully explored, its poise and poetry and perspective still intact, unravaged by bad-copyists and the stultifying stasis of being in the cannon. This is music yet to be discovered, fresh, vital, stimulating, new-fangled, radical, raw, novel, every time you hear it.  
   Rodan were formed in Louisville Kentucky in 1992. You could call them punks but they were also into making hip-hop, found-sound collage, industrial music, classical music, films, theorems, art both moving and static, everything. They made a cassette-only demo in 92 called 'Aviary', including some ambient weirdness, then re-recorded the songs from the demo for their one album called ‘Rusty’ in 1994, made a Peel Session and then split. That's next to nothing to go on so you've no option but to listen and try to figure this magic out. They made music with humility, played live incessantly,  had only the most tangential and hostile relationship with rock’n’roll, let everything they’d ever heard, seen and loved up the ante on what they made. Their music was both immense and intimate, immortal and life size. The power they exert over those who’ve heard them is still as livid  as it was when they were extant. ‘Rusty’, especially for those of us who never got to see them live, is a large part of that still-tangible mystery. It’s one of those rare, remarkable records that seems to tear a hole in the fabric of ‘reality’ and point eagerly at what seethes beneath & behind, as if to say “look, see? This is what’s REALLY happening”. As such it was, and remains, an immortal revelation.


   ‘Rusty’ starts like a stream, a spring, lapping ripples over stone and soil, generating its own impetus gradually, gently surging, leveling out. Where ‘Bible Silver Corner’ takes you is a place where even the tiniest thing, a single-string guitar line, a wending bass, the space between working fingers and hearts and the silence that permeates through the sound mesh, can tune your melancholy and resignation to its own pace. Four and a half minutes in you sense trouble ahead, in the peripheries you hear the stirrings of something else, something low and lurching with menace. Told you, you should know better. This time of night. The train, “Spreading a rash of arsenic, magnolias and crushed coal/A fire in its heart will not let it die”. Shiner gurns in almost-metallic relief, grinding rails and gears past your too-close head, a two-minute takeover of you, too fast and too sudden and too unexpected even after you know it’s there, “PopPop! Down goes the enemy” the band holler, waving at you from the backboard, your consciousness smeared thin over the trundled tracks. So this is what Rodan can do. They can time-lapse, they can hold a moment between tick and tock and let you linger there, reach out and leisurely pull nature’s tendrils into your lap. But they can also make a day go by in the blink of an eye, accelerate you round blind alleys, place you at the frictive fulcrum of modern mechanics, the boiler room of the Avalon, the trellis over the creek, the switchback in the canopy. They have proven this in 9 minutes. The remaining half hour that ‘Rusty’ has you they’ll prove how they can do both at the same time.



   “The Everyday World Of Bodies”is where Rodan really start suggesting to you that music is in new hands here, that the curious mix of personalities and abilities that makes up the band has led to something entirely unique. A flurry, a giggle, a cough, and then this almost arrhythmical new type of rhythm, pulled to the ground with a jackhammer relentlessness, a buzz saw riff but nothing you can cling to that seems to correspond with the normal architecture of rock. This is built with an almost industrial disregard for beauty, a civilly engineered construction meant to function as a tower for the torment being portrayed lyrically. And of course, in so doing Rodan create something truly beautiful and truly for the times they inhabited then and we still inhabit now. It’s that paradox at the heart of Rodan’s sound that’s crucial, that sense that the constituent parts in addition lead to a crazily out-of-proportion sum, the voices merely characters that wander through the factory, down to you whether their breakdowns, emotional & mental,  are changing the music or whether the changing music is compelling their breakdowns, mental and emotional. 4 people conjuring a whole singular environment - like James Brown, like Suicide, like Minutemen, like Big Black, like Wu Tang Clan,what Rodan pursue is the ability for human beings, in collaboration, to come together with the implacable force of machines, all the better to artistically express our modern loneliness in this ongoing mechanization of life, all the better to unlock the true magic of feel, that ability for people to make the body move by fusing one’s own heartbeat with others.
    This is why Rodan get so close to being some of the greatest American music ever – on ‘Bodies’, after two minutes, when it drops down to this gorgeous refraction of dappled-light and thrumming undertow yes it’s about Mueller and Noble’s guitars, the delicacy of the harmonics, the ebbing flow and shark-like constant motion of Tara’s bass, Coultas’ always-diamond-tight maneuvers between the beats (only American drummer to get close to Orestes, Scharin or Narcizo) – but there’s something ELSE you can hear, something you can’t trace to source so easily, something like the feedback of the world outside that studio, outside that room, somehow sneaking its way into the swell, that train again, head on into the headlights, and you should know better. Tara and Jeff whisper “You can trust it/This is your sound/ The clock's unwound/ We make the sound/I will be there, I will be there I swear I will be there” and you’re left trembling, dependent now on what this band are doing, unable to leave, uncoupled from anything approaching comfort but a willing witness & accomplice now in this act, committed to riding Rodan’s  wave all the way to whatever terminus they’re taking you to.
   It’s no accident that at times in Rodan’s music you can hear things that aren’t there. Eventually you start putting them in there, humming cello parts, adding counter-harmonies. In the work all of Rodan would do after the band split these things they hinted at would be further explored. Rodan was the first solid band any of them were in. Self-admittedly they couldn’t play, couldn’t write songs, couldn’t get sounds out of what broken busted equipment they had. All of it had to be learned, made from the ground up. Louisville is not a swinging town, every night is not a party, consequently people who live there feel they have time to just create. All that lull-time leads to intriguing backwaters that bigger cities would’ve muddied and swirled into the need to be current and out there and part of a scene. Rodan became who they were on the quiet, and then when unleashed zeroed in on nothing but themselves. One thing that’s apparent from “Rusty”’s first moment is that Rodan have no problem with considering their music as art, as much a visual experience conjured by sound as an aural one. Rodan cared about sleeves, cared about feel and look, cared about moving you deeply. Never casual, never chaotic. Always every moment for a reason. An artists eye for detail, and an artists heart for meaning. Serious business, no matter how much a laugh they were having playing and touring. Serious business.


  
   “Jungle Jim” (not the Hugo Largo cover you might’ve dreamt of but just as good) seeps forth with Tara singing weakly over a gorgeously downered opening melody heavily preminiscent of her later work with The Sonora Pine. Whenever melody clearly occurs on 'Rusty' it’s of an almost orchestral aesthetic, or at least seems to occupy the same fin-de-siecle post-romantic pre-modernist lines of Satie’s piano work, Debussy’s tone-poems, Bartok’s string quartets. When these ornate melodies give way to the unholy racket that Rodan could make all musical bets are off, there’s no safe ground, no root note, just surge, just fwd motion under tremendous funky duress and lashed with the fire of Noble/Muellers attack and Tara’s unforgettable voice, her  lines veering ‘tween Plath-like morbidity & ravished love-confessional (“done with one touch lying on my thighs/ no i didn't come/TOUCH ME HONEYFINGERS WENT INSIDE/you looked most tempting”) as the music underneath flits tween, unbridled desire, ash-flicking afterglow, post-fucked wreckage. And the song ends on a moment of silence, then the slow build of a drone, as chilling as the first 30 seconds of Throwing Muses ‘Colder’, that ebbs into ‘Gauge’.  By now, Rodan are truly out on their own, shedding any relationship but the most tangential with 'rock', recalling Unwound at their most skin-puckeringly odd, lyrics a disturbing trauma-diary shot through with sedatives and nightmares, at the precise point an album should be aiming for redemption instead suggesting that only madness is liveable with, the guitars a tritonic mathematical mess of unsettling angles and angelic light. Closer 'Tooth Fairy Retribution Manifesto' starts on a bewitching gamelan tinkle and shimmer before gliding on another new dynamic, that sense of water and flow back again, like the album's initial trickle finding the bay, able finally to lose itself in something wider than itself, ending up with a volcanic grinding rumble that sounds both troglodyte and cubist, a sound that doesn't contain notes, only urges, has no rhythm, only impacts, only craters, all before you can realise why or how you're being effected. And then, suddenly and forever, 'Rusty' is over.

   And you're left struck dumb. Wanting more. Wanting resolution. Wanting to hear nothing else. Perhaps even wanting to form a band. Too neat to say Rodan perfected themselves and thus had to be destroyed. Pure coincidence – varying rumours about mental problems & frictions within the band notwithstanding, in 1995, a year after 'Rusty' dropped, Rodan was over.

   As we see so often in any look at the truly important American music of the 90s, one band leads to another and another and you've got to stay aware of what members do after the main event and the attention THAT got slipped on by. With Bitch Magnet, you go to Seam. With Codeine you go to Come but  you'd also be demented to forget about what drummer Doug Scharin did after Codeine split cos then you'd miss out on his astonishing solo work as HiM (a truly odd dub side-project that ended up heard alongside equally odd mid-90s American instrumental hip-hop by the Crooklyn Dub Consortium & other freaks of the anti-industry like Ui) . . .



   AND you'd be totally unaware of his Brooklyn-based crew Rex whose eponymous debut remains one of the great lost classics of 90s slow-core . . .


   These trails are tangled but so rewarding, not just for completists. With all of the musicians we've looked at so far in A New Nineties American Edition, from Oberlin, from New York, from Louisville it's crucial that you follow what they did AFTER what they're mostly known for. In the case of Rodan this is doubly important because with June Of 44 and Rachel's, Jason Noble and Jeff Mueller made music almost equal to Rodan's in terms of shock, perhaps even surpassing Rodan in terms of wholeness and revelation.


“I am the one who has had an obsession with sailing for about five years and for me boats do represent archaic technology, things that die, things that get overlooked, things that pass away." - Jeff Mueller.

   June Of 44's 'Engine Takes To Water" initially reminded me so much of Slint's 'Good Morning Captain' in its lyrical obsessions it was almost a guilty pleasure. Over the course of the album though it becomes much more than just maritime monomania, a briny blathering bruising beauty to be shackled to, to plummet the depths with. June Of 44 (the name refers to the period in which Henry Miller & Anais Nin engaged in their hottest correspondence) were made up of members of Lungfish, Rex, Rodan and Hoover and they played music of brutal heaviness, infinitesimally finessed precision and rampaging radiance. Dubbed 'mathrock' by the clueless, '44 were propelled beyond such petty and inadequate categorisation by Scharin's stunning drums, Mueller's tremendously suggestive and evocative lyrics (further explored in the band Shipping News that he and Noble formed after 44's demise) and the impossible-to-imagine near-prog painstakingness of the guitar arrangements – they'd make three more albums that mixed in electronica and jazz to their swirl and slam but nothing they'd ever make would eclipse 'Tropics & Meridians' (their second LP) and the still-astonishing 'Engine Takes To Water', one of the most beautifully packaged fully-realised visions in the history of American rock.


   The cardboard it came in mattered, had an odour, a feel, a rub that matched the decaying antiquity and pristine drive of the music. That attention to detail, that attempt to make a record not just a document of sound but a fully engulfing experience that stretched from the look, feel, smell of the sleeves to the sounds contained theirin, reached it's pinnacle with Jason Noble's next project after Rodan, Rachel's. Ongoing from 1991 as Noble's solo project, gradually more and more Louisville artists and musicians became involved, Noble collaborating strongly with core members, violist Christian Frederickson and pianist Rachel Grimes. Their debut, 95's 'Handwriting' was a gorgeous, fragile, plaintive mix of minimalist and classical instrumentation combined with a  rock-band backline but it was their second, incredible album, 'Music For Egon Schiele' that really crystallised something entirely unique from this free-floating pack of freaks. Here's what I said in 1996, from the Melody Maker:

Rachel's
Music For Egon Shchiele
(Quarterstick)
"One has to realise what restraint it needs to express oneself with such beauty. Every glance can be expanded into a poem, every sigh into a novel. But to express a novel in a single gesture, joy in a single breath, such concentration can only be found where self-pity is lacking in equal measure"- Arnold Schoenberg.
   Rachel's "Handwriting" LP, 13 infinitely evocative songs without words but with plenty of
orchestration, was THE great lost underground American classic of 1995. Such gorgeous shocks are never repeated. Here they're surpassed, "Songs For Egon Schiele" is, if anything, even more of a unique delight. It is, in a word, incredible.   
   This suite of pieces was written for a piece of dance and theatre based on the life of Schiele, performed in Rachel's home town of Louisville. But, for a piece so specific in it's reference, you find your mind running further than you've felt it in years. I want my retirement to sound like this; while it's on, I can't stop thinking about my childhood.
   More minimal than it's predecessor (Rachel's are now often pared down to just strings and piano) this LP, from it's stark opening to its sparse, shattering coda, is a million miles away from the implicit superiority of most "classical" music.
   Rather than being concious that you're listening to Something Without Guitars Or A Beat, you're so instantly transported within your own imagination that within a minute you're locked into its spell, the piano lacing fingers over your spine, the cello and violin filling out the sound, picking out melodies that seem to suffuse the room with changing moods as they wind their way around you.
Dark, mournful at times; even though training and the like are probably involved, I prefer to think of Rachel's as writing these pieces like pop songs and then tearing them light years from the moorings of band and noise and letting them float free in the emotional chiaroscuro that only these instruments can create.
   It's less important that this is the most impossibly moving American record you can hear right now, or even that the care in it's recording and exquisite packaging make it feel like a personal gift to you . IT IS).  What's important, what's overwhelming, is that your room can be a constant stage with this record. Be ready for your close-up and let your mascara run.
There'll be no stopping it.
Perfect and unafraid. Let it in."


I still stand by every word of that, and urge you to hear it if you haven't. And despite my youthful purple-ponciness of expression something deeper emerges over time listening back to Rodan, June Of 44, Rachel's, something beyond mere artistry and taste. What the Louisville bands all did was crucially not just informed by aesthetics but informed by attitude – in an era in which bands from America were trying to reconjure the 70s and bands in the UK were still trying to resurrect the 60s, bands like Rachel's were engaged in something entirely different, trying to reconnect with a spirit of suprising modernity, & elegiac clarity more akin to the artistic impulses of Post WW1 Europe than anything so dead as the recent past. In so doing they not only isolated themselves from the prevailing grunge/metal impulses in American music but they posited a way of working that now seems curiously ahead of its time – small dedicated groups of artists working together across multiple artistic disiplines to create their own cottage-industry of perfection, records that were utterly unconcerned with place in any lineage but totally concerned with YOU, and your multi-sensory relationship to what you were hearing.


   It's a tempting old habit to try and see something in relation to the mainstream it both reflects, reacts to and rejects but really the Louisville bands weren't some last-gasp attempt to save rock, or recalibrate it for a new future. They were an attempt to create entirely new music, and not even worry about that music's place, not just afterwards, but EVER. Lots of bands say they don't care – about other bands, about authority, about fitting in, about success – and it's always transparently obvious that in their denials they're masking their insecurities and entirely conventional yearnings. Rodan, June Of 44 and Rachel's were revolutionary, and seem so eerily prophetic of those cabals and communities that fascinate us now in music because at a time when music was still so dependent on the conventions of the music industry they DID care about EVERYTHING other than what bands are meant to care about.  Certainly, the times they emerged in had the feeling of running down, of the great countercultural and creative surge that was post WWII popular music reaching a point where it had nothing more to say, its craft becoming nothing more than reassemblage. Alot of rock fans simply abandoned guitar music, or in my case got my jollies from metal way more than anything you'd call 'indie'. Crucially though, however vague the Louisville bands' awareness of rock's dead-end might be, it never seemed to be what was animating them. You'd get these records from out of the blue and have to figure out what they meant, where they fitted, and frequently you'd end up transported by bliss to you know not where. In the ongoing battle for music's heart and soul, these bands were reclaiming playfulness, innocence and creativity without any kind of ideological impetus behind those decisions, without a masterplan or a strategy or anything that could get in the way of the naivete of that expression. And because of that innocence, they left some of us auld cynics, in the mid 90s, wondering how we'd ever listen to rock'n'roll again, beginning not to care if we ever heard indie rock again.

The band I want to talk about next left us in no doubt. It was all over. And something new had to be mapped out. Something so distant from rock that to even mention conventional rock in relationship to it was absurd. Unique. Undimmed. And unlike the Louisville bands, nearly entirely forgotten. Labradford.

This piece is dedicated to Jason Noble, 1942 – 2012. You can download a  tribute mixtape to Jason here  http://jasonnoblebenefit.bandcamp.com/ - all proceeds go to his family.

F.U.N.K SINGLES PAGE APRIL 2014

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SINGLE OF THE MONTH 1
BECK 
MORNING 
(Capitol)
Just gorgeous, but like Kingsbury Manx or Besnard Lakes, not so gorgeous as to mistake a perfection of surface for a justification. If you're going to make essentially 'dated' music it can gain some justification through sheer beauty sure, but also through capturing a mood that its sources haven't quite reached yet, not because they weren't trying but because they were made by other people in other times. 'Morning' captures a mood that's entirely now - the feel you get as the vocals echo is that they're almost running up against themselves, stubbornly sticking around a little longer than they should, against your desire to digest and delineate them. Hence a note struck in the first second seems to almost live through the whole track, like the whole thing is one long glorious dub of a single pristine moment of innocence, allowed to age and wither and die in front of you. I hear it's something of a 'highlight' of 'Morning Phase'. Plenty for me to be getting along with thanks. Always been a little mistrustful of him. Not any more.

BOYA DEE ft. FLIRTA D & SASKILLA  
BIG BOY BARZ 
(NA) 
"I didn't wanna hear your shit CD so I took your chipped CD and I gave your CD straight to a tramp" - the line that made me chuckle the most this month but also this comes from a soon-come EP from Boya Dee that should be unmissable, harsh harsh beats, marsh-deep bass and tons of fiery attitude seeping from the grooves of this grimey monster. Play so loud it hurts.

BEYONCE
DRUNK IN LOVE/PARTITION 

(Columbia) 
'Drunk In Love' (#Serfbort viral-campaign notwithstanding) is soooo tedious, 6-odd minutes of hookless meandering with a fatal disconnection between backdrop and voice that can never be bridged once noticed, no matter how authentically blathered are the swooping woozy synths and sense of shitfaced room-rotation. The one good line about waking up in the kitchen wondering how the fuck did this happen is foregrounded with a smug assurance about what a good line it is and thus immediately loses all power it might've had, and Jay's cameo-verse is as forgettable as B's own Drakeisms and RickRossisms. On the flip 'Partition' is way better, genuinely out-of-control sounding, even as the gorgeous arrangement of the backing vocals and the premonitive echoes that swirl around the hook show how much control is going on, a great great bass sound so fuzzily heavy it's like she's hijacked a grime track, slowed it to a crawl and made it her own. Genuinely sexy as Beyonce's been in a long while but crucially a track that doesn't demand worship only mutual derangement and desire. B-Side wins again.

CASH CASH ft. BEBE REXHA 
TAKE ME HOME
(Big Beat)
Just a warning, this collab between rubbish US EDM act CC and rubbish singer-songwriter (responsible for Eminem's 'Monster') Bebe Rexha is out there, and will probably be a big hit, suffused as it is with the kind of pounding vacancy all the rage in these poundingly vacant times. Bebe Rexha, when asked about her musical influences said her two main ones were 'Coldplay, and The Cranberries', seriously, I shit you not. As such not entirely sure what we can DO about 'Take Me Home's inevitable rise other than to note that Coldplay are a big part of the problem with songwriting and pop at the moment, have taught an entire generation of writers from all genres that lyrical emptiness and glacially slow chord-progressions are a surefire way to be making serious great music, even if that music is designed to be danced to in a bikini. SO MUCH of this kind of chaff about at the moment, of which this is merely the newest most freshly pinched-off example. Sideswerve it if you can.

J COLE ft. AMBER COFFMAN & CULTS 
SHE KNOWS 
(Roc Nation) 
One of the better cuts offa Cole's 'Born Sinner', rumbling beat and moody synths laced together beautifully, would be so much better without the incessant handclaps (far too Black Eyed Peas for my liking, an attempt to make the track irrefutably party-ish when the subject matter is far too cold and tough for such jollification) but still a paniccy pathetic mea culpa from Cole re: his infidelities, b'vox from Coffman and Cults and the nutty drop-ins of cynical prayers and orisons rendering things as sumptuous and addictively crackpot as a good-to-great Outkast single. Best single he's done in a long time and should be a huuuuge hit although only B-listed by those racist motherfuckers at Radio 1. Seriously, go check out the A-list & B-list here. I guarantee you it's like the original MTV policy: keep that 'urban' shit to the margins, boost the trad, boost the retrograde, LET THE BANDS SPEAK. Racist motherfuckers.

DENZEL CURRY 
STADIUM STARSHIPS 
(Soundcloud)

Good lord, I haven't taken shrooms for a long long time but this track has me mouth agape and tripping the fuck out like Hansel & Gretel found a house in the woods made of Psilocybin. Deranged lyrics matched by a sluggish, thoroughly psychedelic production that crushes the digital and the analogue and some as-yet undreamed of future amalgam of the two into bizarre, gurning, fuzzed-out hip-hop that genuinely sounds like a snapshot from that moment you're peaking your scaly reptilian tits off waist deep in a nearby canal. Superb and want to hear more from Denzel C soon.

DJ CASSIDY ft. ROBIN THICKE & JESSIE J 
CALLING ALL HEARTS
(Columbia)
Cassidy's playing Fantasy Pop League,  the boater-n-cricket-jumper wearing superstar celeb DJ ($100K a night - wonder if he gets a free crate of beer with that) now has an album (the May-dropping 'Paradise Royale') ready to roll from which 'Calling All Hearts' is the first salvo. His methods for 'PR' (let's always call it that) are startlingly similar to Daft Punks for 'Random Access Memories': he got a list together of 25 golden age disco songs from 78-82, found out all the musicians repeatedly used on them, then, because he and his label are fabulously wealthy, bought all of those musicians' time to play on the record. He's got Nile, he's got 3 of EWF, he's got Ray Parker Jr, he's got strings arranged by Jerry Hey, he's got a cast of dozens and is proudly touting the fact the album has no samples, is all new music made by the best that money can buy.
   Problem is, 'Calling All Hearts is sung by Jessie J and Robin Thicke and reveals just exactly how alot of the old classic records Cassidy is aiming for were dependent on the singers, or rather dependent on the likeability of the characters singing them. When the only impression you get from the singers is that of utterly undeserved careers based on faintly racist boosting of their blatantly racist theft, arrogance and laziness then it's difficult to fall in love, no matter how sumptuously realised the grooves and vintage period detail. Jessie J is simply a completely detestable pop singer from any angle, Thicke appears to do fuck all as far as I can tell and so 'Calling All Hearts' though possessed of a hook that stayed in my head for an hour, is a song you want to eject from your day with laxative force. Not saying creating new ensembles from old hands never works (check out that amazing Nuyorican Soul album from waybackwhen and PR also will feature some genuine vocal talent in Mary J, Estelle & CeeloGreen) but this single makes itself loathsome before you even hear it by having such a duo of douches involved. Pass.

SINGLE OF THE MONTH 2 
50 CENT
HOLD ON 
(Caroline/Capitol)
Goddamit Fiddy how come you keep coming up with shite albums but absolutely killer one-offs? One of the most massively offensive lyrics hip-hop will give you all Spring (not thee most offensive though - that prize goes to 100s' compellingly 80s-funk-suffused 'Ten Freaky Hoes') sits with nonchalent ill-grace over one hell of a frabjous 70s sprig of cartoon-funk, Fiddy finally seemingly settling nicely into his own voice and persona, a verbal promontory of almost spectacular grumpiness I'm in no mood to move him from when he's coming out with tracks as compellingly addictive as this. Still yet to give us a good album. I give less and less a fuck about that the more I hit rwnd on this.

FRANZ FERDINAND 
FRESH STRAWBERRIES 

(Domino) 
Always nice when FF write a song rather than just 'realise an idea'. Nice punch to the production, nice sharp detail to the guitar licks, nice utter avoidance of faux-disco, great psyche bridge. Nice. Three billion times better than their competition, too good for their competition really. How much more interesting would the NME rock'n'roll dialectic be if these utter ponces were let back in a bit more often? Kapranos, unlike Turner, is the kind of gobshite I like.

HARVEY 
THANK YOU 
(London) 
DANIEL J 
A GIRL LIKE YOU
(iTunes)  
ELYAR FOX
A BILLION GIRLS 

(iTunes) 
So which one of these three will make it into a safe future learning Judo in a week for Sport Relief, providing a musical interlude for Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway, joining the panel and being a good sport on Celebrity Juice, making them whoop on Loose Women or introducing their whole familial clan on All Star Family Fortunes? These are the goals now surely and in the race for sustainable survivable celebrity I'd say Harvey's the prettiest, J the safest, Fox the catchiest - they should increase their chances by forming a boyband, even if the British-boyband has become a project fatally fucked forever musically by the annoyingly persistent influence of Busted/McFly (it disturbs me that everything in this ilk has to in some small way sound like a fucking Blink 182 song ). Post 1-D (for they are surely doomed to perish once this decade's end draws near - about the same time these 3 will be legally able to drive a tractor) I can't see who's gonna pick up the slack - s'a tricky market, pre-teen girls, girls who haven't yet made the full switch to black pop or white rock, girls who still wanna play with their Monster High dolls & who haven't yet grown out of spikey biactol-bleached boys who look about 12 endlessly singing about how they want a girl like YOU just the way YOU are cos inside YOU're beautiful and how they'll carry YOU home. If the best Britpop has to offer can only keep releasing the kind of mediocrity offered on these three phuts of fuckall then a whole generation of tweenagers will be lost to Adventure Time forever. Here's hoping.

IGGY AZALEA Ft. CHARLI XCX 
FANCY 
(Virgin EMI) 
[**Andy's voice from Toy Story 2 in Woody's dream-sequence**] Byyyeee Iggyyyyyyyy, way back when she started out the odd track had me intrigued but turns out she's jussanother busted flush, here helped into deeper levels of shittitude thanks to Charli XCX's sub-Stefani/Lorde vocals and appalling lyrics ('trash the hotel/let's get drunk on the minibar' yaaaaawn you know you're scraping a barrel when you manage to make Katy Perry look like a unique stylist) coupled with  a production so weedily weak it's impossible to ever believe a sassback word from either of the pushy protagonists here. Also, melodically, the hook reminds me of Ed Sheeran's 'A-Team' for which no forgiveness will ever be forthcoming - Clueless-homage video but utterly bereft of an ounce of the heart or sharpness that made Clueless so great. Clueless fuckers.


INDIANA 
SOLO DANCING 
(Sony) 

Dark, miserable, gloriously isolated,  repetetive but with enough variation to clasp you to its pulse, sound perfectly pitched tween 80s electro-pop and vintage house, EVERYTHING this month's records by Klaxons and Kooks would KILL to achieve even an iota of. Love it, just make sure your speakers are big enough to fill your life with it.

JAKWOB ft. TIFFANI JUNO 
SOMEBODY 
(Digital Soundboy) 
In contrast to so much of the pastiche of  so much 'quality' major-label music, the best British pop at the moment at least admits the last 20 years happened, at least allows in some of the garage/dubstep textures that took the cutting edge so far away from the mainstream for so long - 'Somebody' is a sharp, thoughtful song about waiting for someone new, knowing they'll never come, knowing that the older you get the more bored, the less passionate you get, the more other people's decisions become something you're too tired to care about anymore. And also knowing that all that fronting out you're doing is just another way of hiding your inner crumbling and decay. In direct contradiction to a growing theory I have that it's the piano not the ukelele that's the most damaging instrument in modern pop 'Somebody' has an undeniably gorgeous few fragile piano-chords at its heart but it's the way it flies out from that root to the edges of your headspace  that makes it move emotionally, makes it move YOU. Hope it's a hit. B-listed at the moment along with the equally ace Kiesza's 'Hideaway' so don't hold yr breath. 

SINGLE OF THE MONTH 3 
JAMMER 
MURKLE MAN REMIX 
(Soundcloud)

The original of MM is now over 5 years old so a joy to hear this ripsnorting rerub, full on bedlam-heavy grime ruffness, delicious hysteria in the vocals, astonishing heaviness to the kick. From Jammer's new 'Top Producer' mixtape you should be picking up wherever you can find it. Oh look, it's above this paragraph. Content provision in full effect. 

MICK JENKINS 
FREE NATION REBEL SOLDIER 2 
(Soundcloud)

"The world been coming to an end and I ain't need no Mayan calendar to feel that" -great lyrics from south-side Chicago ingenue MJ, and love the way his voice is free enough to spill from conviction to doubt, from sureshot confidence to an almost-broken breathed fragility, each line carrying with it the shadow image of its own refutation. Superbly deep, engrossing stuff even though over so brief a timespan, but helped into your inner ear via 6thBoro's beautifully subtle modal-jazz backing and thumping beats. Keep an eye on this guy.

SINGLE OF THE MONTH 4
JUNGLE PUSSY 
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
(Soundcloud) 

"Lookin' like Rump Spice" heh heh - Shayna McHayle returns with this natty preview of soon-come long-player 'Satisfaction Guaranteed'. Beyond the sheer filthy aggression of the lyrics it's the delivery that has you hitting rewind on this - stealth but fury as well, sensuality but oozing with menace - Shayna has a great rap voice, half Grace Jones steel, half Althea/Donna playfulness. As with the track with Tink that came out a few months ago ('Curve Em') this is also produced by Shy Guy who has the good sense to not overwhelm the production with too much fuss, allowing JP's commanding boom to just launch itself into your day with all claws out and sharpened. 'I'm a genie in a bottle of Malibu . . .' - drink deep and hold tight for the album.



KELIS 
RUMBLE (Ninja Tune) 

Zzzzzzzz . . . . Macy Even Greyer.


KINGS OF LEON 
TEMPLE 
(RCA Records, a division of Sony Music Entertainment)



Yes, of course I was one of the 7 upvoters for that Youtube comment. I applaud good critique wherever it occurs. And like anyone, I love it when people do my job for me better than I ever could.

KLAXONS 
CHILDREN OF THE SUN/THERE IS NO OTHER TIME
(Akashic Rekords) [which is all well and cool but really - Distribution & Marketing by Sony Music Entertainment]
Like you I'm sure, I feared a cover of The Misunderstood's 1966 psyche-monster but I really needn't have worried, this is the Klaxons' usual big pile of piddliness, given a fantastically over-compensatory hard-hitting sheen by the Chemical Brothers (finally a solid groove and some likable noise occasionally agglomerating around it) that unfortunately can't disguise the utter paltriness of ideas and intent behind these comeback tracks. On the flip 'There Is No Other Time' is sort-of-competently (i.e not incompetent enuf) executed disco-pop not a million miles away from Peace's latest 'dance-rock' manouevres (yes I have heard the new song, can't quite believe such a thing exists anywhere beyond a five-band pay-to-play gig at the Brum Barfly)- crucially it's never really apparent for a single second of this double A-side WHY Klaxons exist, or why we should care, why anyone ever fucking cared,  how their sound benefits from being a band, being together, bothering at all - they sound like a slightly harder-edged Bastille and lord-knows no-one needs to be reminded even faintly of those cakmongering cocknuggets. In terms of 60s-beatpop pastiche that frickin Elyar Fox (see above) single hits harder, innovates more. My guess is Klaxons figure there's at least another year of indie-fan bleeding/baiting to be dredged out of their yesterdays-future-today schtik. Good luck with that bozos - for those of us with not much time on our hands just know this is as tediously terse a slice of joylessness as ever given us by the Hot Chips and Beta Bands that are the Klaxons true spiritless ancestors. I'll have a Regular Fries with that n all.

THE KOOKS
DOWN
(Virgin) 

BWAHAHAHAHAHA god, I know I shouldn't laugh but is there anything funnier than shit rock bands who've milked the dugs of their usual sources so dry that they have to 'boldly' get a little 'funky'? 'Down' sups greedily from the heavy heavy monster funk grooves of the likes of the Stone Roses and Ocean Colour Scene and will be hated by Kook's normal constituency as it's an unashamed stab at pop, will be laughed at by their haters simply because it uses the words 'sexual' and 'diggidiggi' in close proximity without being about trying to pull off Twiki The Robot, and will only serve a useful purpose beyond being pointed at and laughed at once someone who knows about funk i.e a hip-hop/grime producer can be unleashed on its innards to salvage something from its cumulatively soporific 'grooves'. Horrific stuff from one of the most loathsome sounds and voices in pop.

LITTLE SIMZ
BARS SIMZON
(Soundcloud)

 Lightspeed rhymes from the stunning new talent that is Little Simz - watch this girl cos with verbal skills like this she's gonna break past any barriers anyone could dare to throw around her, here her vocals sit atop an undulating slo-mo groove that only accentuates the dazzling wordplay and righteous sense of courage and linguistic intrigue Simz has on tap. Also check out the stunning, startlingly good 'Blank Canvas' mixtape free on bandcamp as soon as you possibly can. Superb.

MANGA, RIVAL, GHETTS & EYEZ 

UH OH 
(NA)

Love the sample at the heart of this, a rippling shimmer of Saharan sand so cheesily yet convincingly exotic it's like the music from the desert-levels of Super Mario Brothers got the Sir Spyro treatment - and seriously LOVE the verse from Eyez which spits the kind of straight-up dead-ahead vicious grime nastiness that with a few more years could grow into Wiley-sized fun for all. Keep an eye out.

JOHN MARTIN 
ANYWHERE FOR YOU 
(Anywhere For You)
My local offy permanently has Radio 1 on. This is currently A-listed, alongside Paulo Nutini's new shitmare (more anon) & this unfortunate turn of the events-dial means that I'm exposed to this song at least twice a week against my will, even more when listening to commercial radio in the car. At least in the car I can drown it out with the usual full-fat stream of abuse of pedestrians and fellow motorists - my innate politeness means it's particularly gutting when stood in the queue at Londis with my booze and processed meat products and the DJ says 'John Martin' cos against my better understanding my brain immediately primes itself for some echoplexed funk from the mid 70s and I CAN'T SHOUT BACK.  'Anywhere For You', as I'm sure you're aware by now, is just as horrible as the kind of tunes Martin catted up with Swedish House Mafia , horrific 'progressive' dance slathered with as much 'anthemic' vaguery as the form has ever sustained, the kind of 'dance anthem' Chris Martin would knock out for David Cameron's birthday party, making sure he's washed his bib in readiness for the Number 10 scat-dungeon. In its vertiginous builds and outlooks 'Anywhere' is the sound of upward mobility, of sky-high stasis, of being able to be at any point on the planet with a call and a quick dash to the airport, arriving with nothing but your credit card and a smile and a handwritten invitation from the Prince Of Bahrain. It's all calls directed to the office in Doha, a form e-mail that tells you that you'll be answered on the recipient's return from Miami, it's a charity bash at the Mondrian Skybar attended by Pharrel and the Kardaishans and the everliving ghost of Michael Milkin , it's the pulsing sound & euphoria of a well-managed Forex portfolio, it's a Senior Actuarial Consultant with extensive ALS modelling and developing skills to provide ALS expertise to business WHEN THEY NEED IT.
   Of course, it's taken as irrefutable that Martin and his ilk 'have voices' - have a clarity and force and purity in vocal tone that's 'undeniable', that makes this a great debut solo single for him. Undoubtedly it'll be a success but it shows how unquestioning has been the steady drip-drip absorption of X-Factor diktats, pop purely as imagined by millionaire cheesemongers and other Stars In Reasonably Priced Cars (notice how the only good proper pop fan judge X Factor ever had - Mel B-  didn't last and is long gone). It shows how completely such wrongheaded ideas about what matters in pop have infected pop's body politic that when it comes to performance and vocalising  such middling mediocrity and identikit 'quality' can be so lauded, so taken at face value, unquestioned, undoubted.  Martin 'has a voice', one utterly shorn of all personality, merely the noise that comes out from the hole in the face of someone lightly-bearded & heavily-connected, on a beach, earning far more money than you, looking for love in the gaps between his next VIP DJing guest-spot and fashion-shoot. Oligarchipop, a pop that keeps you exactly where you are, that does precisely a fractionally small percent of what pop can actually do but that cons you into thinking it's going as far into 'honesty' as pop can get. Fucking evil cunts the lot of them. In the interests of avoidance may I recommend self-decapitation or the next Bolzer EP? Eyefanku.


MATT CARDLE 
HIT MY HEART 
JOHN NEWMAN 
OUT OF MY HEAD 
(Universal Island) 
   I don't really watch music videos much anymore. Their ubiquity has made me listen alot more than watch, not through principle but through boredom. Alot of our pop lives, though visually saturated, is spent imagining what singers look like, or if we know what they look like, imagining them singing. When I picture singers that I love actually singing, I rarely if ever picture them in a studio, or on a stage, or in a 'musical' context at all. I might picture them fighting robot ninja assassins on a distant planet, settling down for some hot love on a picnic blanket in a cold Gdansk graveyard, chained to a radiator in a Soho walk-up, trapped under the ice on a Boering-bound floe, slipping into the crowd and checking their watch waiting for the public execution in Riyadh, crucially I always picture them moving, through space and air, trying to zero in on who or what they're singing about, at an eyeball's lick distance staring into my eyes as their words crawl in. The last thing on earth I think about is the 'recording': I most emphatically never ever ever envisage the singers I love in a studio with 'cans' on, waiting for their cue, belting it out with eyes closed, waxed-chest vested or t-shirted, beard flecked with spittle.
   Listening to any of the current crop of 'good singers' that's ALL I can picture, so studio-sheened and emotively 'centred' is every performance on every record these boring boring cunts keep sending to the top. And so even if the video angle is frequently dully focussed on the externally conventional roleplay of being a pop star (on stage/studio/backstage) the camera angle of modern pop production is endoscopic, gruesomely in and close up at the catharh-laden throat, to prove the singer's heart that beats behind the pop game they play with faint distaste. Newman & Cardle, like Labrinth or Murs or Arthur or Sheeran or Odell have the kind of voices you'd love an administrative hospital snafu & an accidental laryngectomy to eliminate from your life, the kind of occasionally-straining, immaculately unkempt 'soulful' croon'n'croaks that you'd laugh at if they occured in front of you, if you found yourself in the shameful position of bearing real live witness to this showboating tutored twattery. I absolutely fucking hate voices like this and they've taken over the male persona in pop to the point where imagining a male singer who DIDN'T have those kind of 'chops' becoming a star is becoming increasingly difficult. Even the boybands have to have at least one member who can do this gurning gritty shit - where are the voices that float, that tease, that engross and engage you not by flamboyantly showcasing what they can do like pop is a constant audition, but by gradually revealing themselves, hiding now and then, working with and against their limitations (rather than their endlessly melismic capabilities) to sound like someone you want to hear and know, rather than someone whose mighty 'real' vocal 'talent' you have to succumb/surrender to ? Male (and esp. white male) popstars are all so busy vocally dangling their Lynx-Dry-Attract-scented ballsacs in our eyes at the moment it's no wonder so many of us are blind to anything else. Fuck this nonsense and someone bring back the pansies quickly.


SINGLE OF THE MONTH 5
NOÛS
ἀηδής
(Bandcamp)

I reckon if a DJ tweaked this 19 minute monster up about +2000 what you'd get is a bratty 30 second noise-punk anthem, at its actual pace 'ἀηδής' is like metal after a suicide leap, reduced to a twitching puckering puddle of viscera and mud and dust, abandoning any sense of trajectory after a few minutes and becoming a series of heartstoppingly heavy droning death throes and ebbing pulmonary gore. Music that seeps so slowly, engulfs you so completely, destroys hope so thoroughly you should limit yourself to exposure only once a week if you want to remain a fully-functioning human being. Yup, I'm caning it twice a day at the moment. What's 'eating' again?

SHARLEEN SHITERI 
PAOLO NUTINI 
SCREAM (FUNK MY LIFE UP) 

(Atlantic) 
"Paolo Nutini was expecting to follow his father into the family fish and chip shop business. He was first encouraged to sing by his music-loving grandfather, Jackie". Fuck's sake Jackie, as a fellow grandparent I can only ask - WHAT were you thinking? Sure, you were probably just being nice. Jumped up little prick keeps caterwauling along when you're trying to listen to your records or do the washing up or phone the bookies? You tell the towheaded little dunce that he should 'pursue music' or somesuch BS, you can't remember,  just to be encouraging, just to get him to shut the fuck up maybe and go practice somewhere you aint, just for some peace, just to be a good granddad. I know how it is Jackie. You love the boy fiercely. I myself am encouraging of my young grandson's desire to be Aquaman, and will not stand in his way if he wants to pursue Black Manta to his undersea lair and destroy him. BUT LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR WORDS HAVE WROUGHT JACKIE, listen to the barrelload of bulbous brown pap perennially pooped out by your progeny's progeny, lookit the way he stumbles, pointy-wristed in leather and shades vainly searching for even a scintilla of borrowed-cool he will never ever actually possess, feel the revolting musical condescencion that descends upon the listener from the very first moment of the appallingly-titled 'Scream (Funk My Life Up)', the revoltingly 'warm' soundpad Nutini lets seep around you like a lift-filling fart. Check the deliberately downhome production, the attempt to make the rhythm section sound like they're playing in MuscleShoals with  Papa Willie Mitchell on the mix, actually sounding piped straight in from the studios at Maida Vale and only missing Jo Pissbag Whiley's cooing sycophancy on the outro. Check every single musician here being so tediously 'classic', so revoltingly 'respectful' listening is like anally ploughing a dessicated corpse - motherfuckers if you're not exceeding or surpassing things I've already heard WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I BE LISTENING TO YOU? Oh that's right, you're not making music for people into music, you're making music for people who've heard fuck all, or worse, have heard everything and understood nothing. Music like Nutini's isn't just aesthetically objectionable, rather in its cravenness to the past, its defeatism, its total reaffirmation of racial and sexual hierarchies, its distaste for the present and desire for a past of unquestioned reappropriative theft and exploitation, it's politically, spiritually and fundamentally fuckawful on every single level music can be reasonably appreciated on. I intensely hate you Nutini and wish you a nagging, constant toothache so deep it reaches your balls. Your fucking fault Jackie.

GRUFF RHYS
AMERICAN INTERIOR 

(Caroline International) 

Always been a sucker for his voice, here given some gorgeous melodic corners to rub itself around in a little pocket-planet of a song, v. reminiscent for me of Eric Matthews but also Scott, Bowie, Ayers - see no reason on earth why SFA remain on hiatus when this sounds like it could be one of theirs but who cares, ace fuzz guitar solo seals the deal.

THE SATURDAYS 
NOT GIVING UP 
(Polydor) 
Bought to you by the Citroen DS3, George From Asda pants and bras, Veet hair-removal products, Impulse Body Spray and Pro-Tools autoshit prog-house settings. Six months til the split and Frankie going solo I reck. Taking all bets.

SOLO 45 ft. JME & VIDA SUNSHYNE
HIGHER
(NA) 

S45 absolutely killing it with JME on this unstoppable grime banger with a chorus that pipes summer into your cells irresistibly. Great reggae-vibe on the chorus but nothing overly optimistic derails the forward-motion here, it thumps and rings the ear-drums with the ferocity of its beats, the ear-filling hum of the bass, the way that though it'll doubtless only be heard among grime & bass-music fans it actually operates like daisy-age hip-hop at its frenetic, colourful best. Love it.


TASHA TAH
LAK NU HILA 
(iTunes) 
Punjabi banger aka the desi 'Work Bitch'? Hey, that's racist but damn near the truth.

DOMINIQUE YOUNG UNIQUE
THROW IT DOWN 
(Sony) 
19 credited writers apparently. Fuck me,  surely one of them just happened to make the tea? I can't even begin to imagine how a single song could entail so much delegated resposibility or exactly how the labour got divided, though this slice of fairly by-rote raptronica works a treat because Benga adds some typically mournful minor-key wierdness and cos Young is smart enough to keep her vocals engagingly monotonic and rapid, perhaps even more rapid than the MIAs and Santigolds she might lazily be compared to - I WANT MORE from this track, it settles too soon and then just keeps going, but a good sign that DYU will be someone to watch for those of us missing our Missy. For me and my girls, girl pop par excellence.

THE VAMPS 
LAST NIGHT
(Virgin EMI)
 If there's a default cliched position to write a song from on Planet Pop in 2014 it's the hangover. It's a handy device EVERYONE's been overflogging it to death - allows you to list all the kerrrayzy things you did last night (kissed someone/danced on a table/sung your favourite songs uhh, that's usually about it) with the chance to add the usual Facebook-status-style simpering apologetics about not being able to 'remember much'. Reflection and faint regret sitting alongside the 'rock'n'roll' moves you pulled in your t-shirt of a band you've never needed in your life. Thing is these Larry Lightweights who use this cliche (Perry, Swift, Miley, & now The Vamps) always stack up such a paltry innacurate/identikit list of 'bad behaviour' it seems none of them have properly experienced the bitter shame and abandonment of a decent night on the lash. Until one of these squeaky-clean fucknuts sings a song about threatening to glass a close friend, cop off with a close relative, pukeing in a cab or shitting in a bed I'm inclined to think that they're simply rotating the most fashionable prosaisms currently up on the big black-board at Songwriters camp and wouldn't know a good night out if it chinned them in the kebab queue or made them sob expansively in the toilets while the attendant gazes with gimlet-eyed boredom into the middle-distance. None of these freshly-scrubbed fucks have ever felt their K-holed feet stick to a floor or their fists ball up in a cider rage (well, except Miley maybe) & I recommend never trusting them again.

SINGLE OF THE MONTH 6
THE WEEKND 
WANDERLUST
(XO) 
Probably the most Michael Jacksonesque song offa the pristinely dark'n'depressing 'Kiss Land' LP, 'Wanderlust' has more of the feel of autumn/winter than this March release might indicate but what an immaculately realised pulse of dark, heavily-synthed r'n'b this is - more electro-pop than anything else, and more about textures than trajectory. Love the way the b-vox start to swim together so entangled and deep you feel submerged in breath, love the way it's totally radio friendly but not totally radio overfriendly. Happy to forget about reality to this, and wish The Weeknd would slip his low-tempo leash more often. See you all in May, if the end hasn't come by then. And how silly will I look then!

A NEW NINETIES MIXES: 1994 UK Edition Parts 1 & 2

Old Man Shouts At Clouds #4080: Just one more thing 1/8

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A few years ago, Everett True  asked me a few questions for his PHD research. Some of my answers have already been published here. Here's the first of the eight that didn't get used already, with some additional recent thoughts added. 


ET: How is taste formed in web 2.0 environments? How is taste formed in the print media? How would you identify the crucial differences, if at all? Can one critic still wield the same power as they did during the heyday of the UK and US music press?
NK: For me, musicians and critics are in very much the same boat at the moment. We're both offered more freedom than ever before in getting our work read or heard, but because no-one's really found a way or model to make a living out of that we still yearn for the cast-iron sureties of a name in print, even if most of our experiences of even getting paid for writing by traditional media is a painful and drawn-out and torturous one involving lying mercenary scum aka Accounts Payable/Purchase Ledger/Editors who treat writers like shit, all that endless re-invoicing and poverty and lies and starvation and desperation and time spent contemplating suicide, those magazines that go worryingly silent and then you hear they've closed down owing you shitloads. Critics bitch about extant print-media cos there's not enough work out there for everyone and it seems like quite a tight little nepotistic network-of-the-dull who have that work sewn up. Musicians bitch about major labels cos it similarly seems like quite a constricted nexus of middle-class metropolitan peole who own and run things at the moment across mainstream print, radio, TV and the big online music sites. For musicians & writers the possibilities though are tantalising. It's tantalising, self-publishing, all those things that labels/publishers used to offer musicians/writers can now legitimately be done yourself EXCEPT getting paid. That's the fucker, that we're in this transitory state between the old corporations and this new freedom that we can certainly play with already, but can't seemingly MAKE PAY. What we've got to be mindful of is that capitalism will offer that freedom of creativity only if it can eventually step in and exploit it - we could quite easily end up with the same big corporations in control of everything, and shouldn't feel liberated just cos they happen to be 'digital entertainment' corporations rather than just traditional record labels. Chance would be a fine thing - and until a fair new model of how to get paid for being creative is worked out we're all, no matter how anti-establishment we might feel, waiting around for the gig that pays, so we can eat and live and survive. The way the power lies at the moment it's easier for big corporations to constantly reaffirm their own tedious hold over your possibilities but I genuinely think things like bandcamp, things like blogs with donate buttons, are the way to go, are the future. Fuck all them corporations. People are tight-fisted about this so far (I know I am) but if you put out writing that's good enough, and keep doing it, I think in a few years it might become sustainable simply getting regular donations from readers. Straight to you, just like the money goes straight to the artist on Bandcamp, no middle man's cut, no dicking around with the absolute cunts who work in Purchase Ledger. 

The mean time is a fucking horrible mean time. That possible future of d.i.y potlach-style exchange is absolutely no consolation if you're wondering how you're going to eat or pay rent or keep the light and heat on next week. And the more hobbyists provide 'content' for fuck-all for companies who can totally afford to pay, the more inclined corporations will be to rip writers off with no care or consciousness that for some of us it has to be a living, and it's about survival. Shareholders, bottom-lines is all those venal cunts care about and you can bet they're more than willing to see the creative death of writing, the final conversion of writing from profession into pastime, if it means they can keep their costs down. Make no mistake, writers are going to die because of the freshly-rejuvenated LACK of care they get from their paymasters. I've come close, we've all come close. Payday loans can make you feel like dying every month, every day. Publishers and editors and people who need music writing to populate their sites are trading on a vanity people are willing to pay to engage in - virtually every single ad I've seen for writing positions recently have been of the 'we can't afford to pay anyone at the moment' type which you always know is some straight-up bullshit, the writing equivalent of pay to play, a way of parsing out anyone from a social class who might have something to contribute to the discourse and keep things giggly and middle-class and essentially conservative. Writing is just another museum now. We keep rotating the same idols, while making damn sure that the kind of circumstances in which great writers can emerge and survive by writing will never happen again. So writing becomes this static dead thing that's passed, the writer's lifestyle a kind of theme-park you have to pay to be able to experience anymore.



The people who I guess don't have such worries, who are able to generate enough of a workflow to still call writing their living - these are our official 'tastemakers'. With a few exceptions they stay that way by dissenting when needed (no harm in a bit of commissioned clickbait here and there, but again the critique must be superficial and not imperil any of that valuable networking that's been done/to be done, leave no latched thorns in the industry beast), joining the consensus when it's expected of them (the summer blockbuster LP, the single of the year, the phenom of the moment), or if unable to join that consensus, simply remaining tastefully silent, especially about each other's writing. The major consensus among tastemakers at the moment appears to be about bad writing & on twitter these fucknuts find the perfect place to swat their farts back n forth to each other about who's sad (anyone who dares prod their bubble) and who their friends are. 

(By the by, 140 characters is a nice place to hide any critique of critique. It gives you just enough time to say 'terrible writing' or 'embarassing and childish' or other unevidenced sweeping generalisations, without the ugly business of justifying your smears, unpicking your own deliberate misreading.)

Unsurprising, because the attempt in these cunts' writing is to join the tide of correct opinion, that gently yet condescendingly poptimist critical consensus, not do anything so tasteless or deluded as to try and kick against what's spooned our way, too lazy to seek anything not from official channels, or ask any ugly 'dated' embarassingly earnest questions about motivation or purpose about what we're MEANT to be listening to, simply respectfully engaging with the surface, keep things light, witty, breezy. When I say surface I don't mean the skin of pop, the flash and show. That's chortled about, or OMFG'd about, nothing more, because at root these writers are traditionalists who dig the show but are into it more for 'the music man'. Odd, as they singularly fail to engage with the SOUND in any illuminating way, only ever write about the music in terms of correct filing strategies and cross-reference. I mean surface as a way of keeping writing tethered to what's irrefutable. Soon as you start digging into music, start getting something from the content that isn't explained by form, that's the precise moment modern music writing clams up, feels it should remain mute. Writing as if we have all the time in the world, so why say anything? When anyone knows our time is running out. We have to make sure we say something now and then.

On a personal level I take great consolation from the fact that no-one is gonna remember a single fucking thing people like **** ******** and *** ****** and *** ********** have ever writ . I take great anxiety from the fact that none of them care, perhaps more anxiety from the fact they'd be ashamed to write anything that might be remembered. The innocuous is their aim - to aim for the unforgettable in words - so passe, no? So yesterday. So we're told, over and over again, that if you want words to resonate, stick with people, you're looking back, refusing to get with the new disposability. You care and you're an old man shouting at clouds. Or of course, a young person who gives a shit about music and writing. Tons of young people outside the capital who'd make amazing writers. The mainstream looks in on itself, totally Londoncentric. Like the way the majors all sold out to Sony to actually harden their insularity and incestuousness in fear of the opening up the internet proposed. The ability for kids from diverse backgrounds to enter into discussion about music and its meaning has never been greater - the music press functions though as a total counter to that, a reaffirmation of old rules of inclusion, old hierarchies, getting harder in mirror-image of the government. Don't forget, if you're young btw, you don't care about politics and you just care about fun. Their latest market research proves this so stop arguing and keep suckling. And thus, enabled by an industry endlessly keen to have you clicking off elsewhere and buying MORE, critique of music stops really being about music, merely becomes the business of gramattically organising your precis of the promotional line, your ability to regurgitate biogs and quotes, the 'facts' reduced simply to your ability to fairly reflect what has been or what might be the commercial response to that music. Music should be, and is, in many places around the world, a fomenting-pot of revolt - here it's actually used to anaesthetise, as is its critique. Too many reviewers reading other reviews in order to write their own. ‘Taste’ if it can be defined as the overarching orthodoxy of what is ‘good’ at the moment/this year/this week is formed via the only thing that matters to computers: numbers, clicks, pure momentum, weight of hits/retweets, the bludgeoning power of commerce. The danger at the moment is that an obsession with statistics among writers, especially bloggers, is starting to make us all think like publishers. Writers have had to add to their skills in the last decade massively - we've all got to be aware of how to make other stuff, mixes, videos, incorporate all kinds of non-textual media amid our work. Like musicians we're expected to be as good at self-promotion, perhaps even better at that, than actually writing. You start thinking about target audiences and demographics and increasing your reach - you're thinking like a publisher if you're a writer now. Writers on an individual basis I think would be better off not thinking constantly of an audience, but perhaps being aware that one thing t’internet opens up is the notion of a ‘constituency’ or ‘congregation’ and this links in to what you're asking about power. One critic, just like one artist or one company, can’t change the pop world single-handedly but one critic can carry a body of people with them, shape THEIR pop experience along the way. At least, that could be an ambition, but I think it's the meek, the abashed, the falsely self-deprecating rather than properly self-loathing who are inheriting critique which is a real shame. People too scared to criticise. Because they're sensible. That's how you get invited to the party these days. Only when you ensure that you won't ruin the positive vibe. Only when you threaten no-one. At the top a few spikey, essentially conservative old voices hold sway, those soc-media stars we're all meant to aspire to being, having proved their worth, & continuing to prove their worth in the only sense that matters, numerically, ones and zeroes. On the lower rungs, in a mean time, the meek can inherit it all so long as they know their place, wait their turn and speak in turn as well. The real art of music critique is going on verbally now, way more than in a written down sense. Listening to fans talk, to kids talk, is about ten trillion times more interesting and funny than reading most music reviews at the moment. What comment threads and social media lack is a sense of authority. But maybe wanting that sense of authority is just a relic from modernity that I should get over.

F.U.N.K SINGLES PAGE MAY 2014

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DAMON ALBARN 
HEAVY SEAS OF LOVE 
(Parlophone) 

I'm told by my anaethetists that this chap was quite the top dog, the big cheese, numero uno honcho back in the 90s, Tommy Steele of generation oh-fuck-John-Smith's-dead. These sip-cup refillers are awfully patronising sometimes - for gods sake, I'm not totally senile yet! I remember! He was always on the television and radio, singing his song and dancing along. I remember him! Must say it's great that he's still going, here hitting on an altogether surprising & soporifically dull expensively lo-fi soul vibe that clearly does something for him at the moment if no-one else. I have to say though, as someone who remembers him the first time round that this really isn't a patch on 'It's My Life'. Come on Doctor/Damon, stop killin' me - once you've finished footling around with this tuneless arty rubbish we need a repeat prescription of that massive hit you had! Remember, it takes a big man to admit he's a one-trick pony.

LILY ALLEN 
SHEEZUS 
(Parlophone)  
"Ri-Ri isn’t scared of Katy Perry’s roaring/ Queen B’s going back to the drawing/ Lorde smells blood, yeah, she’s about to slay you/ Kid ain’t one to fuck with when she’s only on her debut/ We’re all watching Gaga, L-O-L-O, haha/ Dying for the art, so really she’s a martyr/ The second best will never cut it for the divas/Give me that crown, bitch, I wanna be Sheezus". Allen is convinced, and there's many tacit in this delusion, that she's witty, aware, incisive, clever. Fatally for the listener she's HALF all those things, half-clever, cutting as kids safety-scissors, aware as any solipsist can be, a half-wit. Aside from the musical dreariness on offer here (she really has in some way got to find a different voice, and a different model than the Backyardigans for her melodies), what will always keep her mediocre and on the middle-tier of stardom is the utter lack of generosity in her music, the dressing-table self-regarding pretence of it. Her voice, and her songs seem to say 'hey, I know I'm a bit shit, but IN THAT mutal realisation, surely you can let me get away with this?' Well yeah, we can, and anyone that young (how long can that continue to be an excuse?) is self-serving, somewhat deluded, essentially selfish - but if that's ALL you portray in your music, a seemingly endless egoism that wears its shallow insecurities as some kind of massive proof of its intelligence and guile, a navel-picking (and then finger-smelling) egoism that seems entirely scornful of everything beyond itself then . . . I don't want to listen. Millions will, but then millions watch 'Celebrity Juice', millions voted Tory, millions like peanut butter. I don't, cos it looks like shit to me. Each to their own. Live and let live. My new motto. Serious.


AMC & DBR UK 
SEVEN DEADLY SINS EP 
(Proximity Recordings) 
'"Under Siege' is a pristinely filthy low-end lunger at the half-speed 85bpm end of d'n'b. Like the way it's not scared of silence, echo, nasty Depthcharge/Wu-style sword swathes. I'm a sucker for this kind of carnage.

AMIRI
STILL
(HipNott Records)

"I'm on that Diamond D shit/cos 'Stunts & Blunts' was a fuckin' classic'— hey, got to admit he got me with that undeniable opening line and looks like South Carolina producer/emcee Amiri's debut album 'This Is Part Time' will have to be sunk into deeply this June, judging by the strength of 'Still', suffused with grainy '70s textures and a nicely full-phat easy-listening solidity. Nice one.

ARCADE FIRE
WE EXIST
(Sonovox)

Oh, CHEERS for the reminder,  I really had genuinely forgotten. Way to ruin everyone's day, pricks.

BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB 
FEEL 
(Universal Island) 
I avoid Radio 6. I know how it will wind me up, although I suspect I'm probably within their demographic reach. The other day though, just as an experiment I turned it on. Bombay Bicycle Club were presenting a show, playing the records they liked and talking about the music and their own artistic endeavours. Within about a minute I wanted to telekinetically send an airborne tuberculoid virus into the studio that would have them choking on their own vomit before the next trailer-break. Hateful dilettante cunts who would do well to stop showing off their 'eclecticism' with this sub-shit Bollywood knobcheese and figuring out if there is anything, even a tiny iota of anything within their cubby-hole souls that deserves to see the light of day. My guess - not a fucking sausage.

SINGLE OF THE MONTH 
BREAK 
THEY'RE WRONG (CALIBRE REMIX) (Symmetry Records) 

Yes, of course I have big problems with much liquid, with d'n'b that's a little too proper and polite but if there's one man who consistently gets it spot on it's Calibre and this rerub of the ol' Break classic is just gorgeous, the sublime piano and tingly chorale licked across by flickers of guitar and crisp delicious beats. A simply beautiful piece of music. Also on the Calibre tip - hold tight for his new dragging-the-data-files 'Shelflife 3' cos it contains 'Instant' that sets off this 2 hours of fun a treat. Love DS's futurebeats shows.



JAKE BUGG 
MESSED UP KIDS
(Virgin/EMI) 

Now, see, here's the thing, this guy's surrounded by the wrong people. He's clearly a good rhythm guitar player. No Nick Drake, and should stay the fuck away from covering him but not a bad player. Knack for a tune, or at least a decent bridge (still can't write a chorus though, but that'll come).  Some idiot has told him that he needs to sing hard cos this song's about hard times. So everything comes out at this rasp, this fake pitch of lairyness, that I don't think is Bugg's true character. He needs to soften, be tender, because he's actually writing with a bit of sensitivity here. He needs a string section, some horns, give it a bit of Scott Walker lushness. He needs rescuing from his team, his people and their fiction they want him to inhabit, and find his own, push himself. Poor lads, pushed into making lad-rock. Let them grow into the pansies they could be.

BUGGSY 
YA DON'T KNOW 
(Bandcamp)

Phi Life Cypher's DJ Nappa on the mix so you know this is gonna be a monster and so it proves — raw and lush bass-heavy funk over which Buggsy rips forth with all his usual charm, confrontation and characterfulness. Love Buggsy cos he's continuing to avoid any kind of concessions to crossover, finding his own sound, mixing the light-speed chat of '80s dancehall with a brilliant bratty sense of what makes rap addictive. From a soon-come LP 'The Great Escape Season 2' that, judging by this, is shaping up as one of 2014's finest.

SINGLE OF THE MONTH 
CASTLE Ft. HAS-LO 
CLEVER BUNNY
(Mello Music Group)
One of MMG's most off-the-wall genii, Castle's 'Return of the Gas Face' LP was one of the nuttiest most enjoyable US rap releases of 2013 as these two highlights prove in spades. 'Clever Bunny' is a sickly-sweet rotation of soul-loops peppered with random raps from a strange planet, on the flip the superb 'Finalivin' is just as radiantly insane, Has-Lo excelling himself on the mix. Castle's 'artist highlights' read as follows: "once killed the entire Marvel Universe. Made Chuck Norris say 'Uncle'. Warns psychics. Cuts through hot knives with butter. Lost his virginity before his father". C'mon, you KNOW you're gonna have to hear this guy.

ROB CLOUTH 
CLOCKWORK ATOM EP
(Leisure System) 

A glitchier, more confused, more racketty (in the 'what's this racket?' + 'is this some kind of racket he's got going?' senses) Boards Of Canada if you're lazy, which I am. I approve because this reminds me of Michael Manning's long lost 'Public' LP.

ED SCISSORTONGUE 
THEREMIN EP
(High Focus Records)
Always a joy to hear someone have a unique take on what rap can sustain musically, to trust the form to be able to still be forward-looking, to strike out on its own turf with a singular step and with singular sounds. Ed first tipped me off to his wayward, brilliant vision with 2012's 'Spastic Max' single, but this superb seven-track slab of beauty is a whole new kaboodle of wonder. Musically it seems to take cues from the most sublime mordant electronica of Sheffield, Dusseldorf and Detroit and it wraps these cold-yet-beautiful sonicscapes around Ed's tough, freewheeling rhymes to powerful and lastingly unforgettable effect. Too much going on to take on immediately, but an EP that stops you in its tracks as soon as you make contact — strongly recommend you wind this round your waist and into your brain as soon as you can. We'll report back together come 2024 when we've all caught up. Essential.

ELBOW
MY SAD CAPTAINS 

(Polydor) 
Sound reminds me of Lambchop's mighty 'Nixon' but only in a way that immediately makes me run off to listen to that masterpiece: nothing going on here lyrically or melodically of any interest at all. Would like to hear an instrumental - somehow the singer here has managed to find perhaps the only harmonic route through this admittedly sweet backdrop without at any time registering a single motif that sticks. Will soundtrack some cracking organic barbecues I'm sure. Enjoy.

EMINEM ft. NATE RUESS
HEADLIGHTS
(Interscope) 

In which Eminem apologises, in a clearly heartfelt, faintly embarassing way, to his mum for exploiting and exposing her for commercial gain, as well he might.Nate Ruess aka Ben Folds Jr. adds his customary butter. As ever, Yahoo answers has the final word.


THE EMPEROR MACHINE 
RMI IS ALL I WANT 
(Southern Fried Records) 
 The original's sweet enough, disco derailed with no-wave guitar & judders of bleepy noise: Erol Alkan's rerub adds even more harshness, icey stabs that are almost pure EBM. Odd to write about Erol. I kipped round his a few times in the 90s. Judging by this, still a smart & lovely chap. 

ESSEX YOUNG FARMERS 
PUT THAT HOEDOWN 
(Cuckoo Records)  
Why? Oh come on, haven't you seen the video?


A worthwhile cause, so worthwhile in fact there's no need to point out that everyone involved probably reeks of animal faeces on a daily basis. Good luck to all of 'em I say. I'm not kidding about my new live and let live attitude. I read the last singles column and hated myself. It's time to turn that into love and sunshine and spread it around like so much silage. Dig in piggies. Dig in.

FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS 
THE WALKER 
(Dangerbird) 

Pparently 'Ellen Degeneres' Oscar trailer'& The Vampire Diaries (whatever they are) will apparently make this shouty indie-disco thang a hit even though it barely deserves to be (rubbish verses, half-ace chorus, totally ace bridge). Think Icona Pop without those brill colossal hooks. You could do alot worse though, as Youtube, with customary finesse, proves again.








Breaking down barriers, bringing people together. Good on ya FATT.


FOXES 
HOLDING ONTO HEAVEN 

(Sign Of The Times Limited)
Annoyance. It's a spooky spectral thing, can land on a record by the most ephemeral of reasons. Never just about the music, can be down to faces, gestures, expressions, clothes, manners. I like Foxes' manner. Foxes, if yr lazy, is Florence & The Machine lite. Which SHOULD be hella annoying. But in precisely ironing out FATM's hollering insistence, plying a gentler line in KBushisms and not overburdening the grooves with too much EDM-style loudness, Foxes hits on something not in any way annoying. Helps she has a great voice, a voice confident enough to not show off or try way too much. I may recant this if Jo Whiley gets involved but I would not have any problem with her becoming a massive star - 'Holding On To Heaven' is a catchy little number that you barely notice first time you hear it, then you realise within an hour that you need to hear it again, and it's not even her best song.

ELLIE GOULDING
BEATING HEART 
(Interscope) 
The most hateful voice in pop? Yeah, I'd say so, just after Robbie Williams and Pitbull I reck. Proof if proof were needed that a final stage needs adding to the 'BBC Sound Of . . . ' list process whereby, in alphabetical order, those who've made the final cut are stunned with a prod up the anus and then despatched Halal style. Lena Zavapony.

SINGLE OF THE MONTH 
THE GROUCH AND ELIGH 
MY GOD SONG
(Just Listen Records)
Love the soft-soul nature of the backing vocals, sitting atop something entirely undated, a strange rotational peal of glistening electronica more akin to B.O.C or something offa Andrea Parker's Touchin' Bass imprint than anything else. Other tracks from The Grouch & Eligh's new opus 'Tortoise & the Crow' suggest something intriguingly unplaceable going on. Seek it out.

GROUPLOVE 
SHARK ATTACK 
(Atlantic) 
Oh my. Think I might have stumbled across my new most hated band. The musical equivalent of a forced grin. From the opening bouncy acoustic moments you can just imagine the kind of inviduous cuntbubbles who would dig this, in fact you can picture them doing what they would call 'dancing' to this utter shit, what the rest of us would call pouncing about like a fucking wanker. This is the kind of music, liked by the kind of people, who have rendered indie & alternative music a no-go area for me for nearly 20 odd years now. Don't just take my word for it. Cast your eyes on this.


See? All you need to know.


HALF MOON RUN 
NERVE 
(Indica Records) 
I completely accept that the point of music shouldn't always be to shake the planet till the pips shake. Since time immemorial there's been plenty of music created purely to be anodyne, to dovetail neatly with other consumer choices, to be unobtrusively pleasant. HMR do it nicely. Nice 3-part harmonies, nice hook but whyohwhyohwhy does this kind of polite poesy always find itself coming out of people who look so dull? I wish that today's easy listening merchants (for this is essentially what bands like HMR and Haim are) could posess even an ounce of cool, an ounce of Nancy/Lee/Esquivel oddity to their look or voices. In concentrating on the music they've forgotten the show. I'm nitpicking though, 'Nerve' is absolutely not offensive. It's a cosy pool of piss to paddle in.

CALVIN HARRIS 
SUMMER 
(Sony Music Entertainment) 
Time Machine on. Input: survey the sweep of time and space and take me back to Dumfries in the mid 80s. Yes, stop giggling, I'm not being silly, I said Dumfries. Take me to the home of young Adam Richard Wiles. Yes, the kitchen. Breakfast time. Look at him, see him? Eating his toast but leaving his crusts. Look at him, see how he just bites the bready bit and disdains the edges, pushing them uneaten to the side of his plate? We must act. You've warned me about messing with history but this is important. Input: He's leaving his crusts. Consequently, his hair won't be as curly as it can be. Later on, much later on, when he and I have grown - he to a life of shitty disco-house provision & international superstardom under his new name Calvin Harris and me, with the name I was born with, to a life of shame and ignominy I will read a quote wherein he reveals that he "wanted to be like Steve McManaman. But I never had curly hair, so I got into music. If I'd had curly hair, things would've been different". Do you not see? INPUT - If I force these crusts down his rancid gullet we might avoid the gruesomely lacking-in-oomph likes of 'Summer' with its liposuctioned synth beds and revoltingly bristled vocals. Get the fucker deluded with a trial for Queen Of The South, and sit back to enjoy a future free of his horrible music, where he picks up a career-ending injury going in for a two-footed challenge in extra time during a relegation six-pointer against Cowdenbeath and takes that job as a five-a-side trainer at the D.G One Leisure Centre that would see him safely, unmusically, out to his dotage. Come on, it's a plan, you can't deny it - Input:  one listen to this crock should convince you of my plan's worth, even if it does disrupt the space time continuum and plunge us headlong into nothingness. It may be preferable. It will be preferable.

JAMIE XX 
GIRL/SLEEP SOUND
(Young Turk)
Studio-bound doodles from him out of them - destined like so much of today's mediocre music to be hailed with all kinds of superlatives by people who've heard fuck all. Essentially a very very very boring trip-hop record.

J.LOVE ft. GHOSTFACE KILLAH & CORMEGA 
GLORIFIED EXCELLENCE
(J.Love Enterprises)
Ghost & Cormega? Together? (Cum-face).  Fantastic as you'd imagine and a great gritty thunking heavy backing track from JL too. Play so loud you shit.

KAGOULE 
IT KNOWS IT 
(Denizen)
Wow, Proustian flashback to tearing open jiffy bags and scowling in Waterloo, piss-weak 90s-style grunge never went away I guess-  this Zane Lowe-boosted bunch want to sound like Cay or Scarce and consequently sound so deliberately datedly 90sish it's like watching someone update their myspace page, plug a VHS hole with chewed up paper, eat a pop tart with a spork. It's not their FAULT that Zane Lowe likes them but that's the instant enshittening effect he has for you. Bad luck Kagoule.


KASABIAN
EEZ-EH 

(Sony Music Entertainment) 

ITEM! Greatest Lyric Of The Year: "Horsemeat in the burgers/People commit murders/Everyone’s on bugle/We’re being watched by Google.” ITEM! Why is it, when lumpen crap bands rather self-consciously make an effort to be slippery and funky do they think melody must be sacrificed, turned into a lazy rotation of 3 basic bluesy notes (i.e if it's in E, sing D, E and G in random order)? Is it because for all their avowed 'rave-friendliness' they actually are coming from a deeply rooted notion that 'dance music' is dumb? ITEM! PWEI and Jesus Jones records (which strangely, are both identical to and somehow better than 'Eez-Eh') have been available at many music retail outlets for some time now. ITEM! Kasabian have been boosting their latest loaf of ordure as the zenith of their creative life thus far. We can only hope they call it a day now they're 'on top'. ITEM! Leicester wankers.

LADY GAGA 
G.U.Y 
(Interscope) 
Been finding LG's music pretty dull recently but I guess that's not the point. The point is the 12 minute video to this, a dumping ground seemingly for visual ideas she hasn't been able to put anywhere else and consequently an utter fucking mess, but a fairly gloriously batshit and dirty one. See it.


SINGLE OF THE MONTH 
LANA DEL RAY 
WEST COAST 
(Polydor) 

Utterly sublime. Sounds like a proper wierd band, a cool, funky, tense band but not leadenly so, her voice as ever a thing you wanna drown in but what's key is the IDEAS here, the way the song, via a stunningly executed broken jazz-break kills its groove to swim in this sumptuous chorus with a pure 'Some Velvet Mourning' confidence. The precise moment that the heat of the street absconds and you lift off at the shore cos there's no further to go.

LORDE 
TENNIS COURT (Universal NZ) 

Wasn't this out last year everywhere but here? Actually prefer this to 'Royals', love the line 'It's a new art form showing people how little we care/ We're so happy, even when we're smiling out of fear'. Beyond everyone else, the girl I want my girls to listen to.


MAX MARSHALL 
YOUR LOVE IS LIKE 
(MaxMarshallMusic) 

Oh lord be praised, a gentle, unpushy yet un-fauxvulnerable voice. With nothing to prove, just a thing to get into, a feeling to get out. A melody that's like walking, like the kind of tunes that beam into your head when on the day-to-day grind. Love the oddity in the production too, the stuttery beats, the faint glimmers of electro. I will follow.

SINGLE OF THE MONTH 
MELANIN 9 
AMULETS EP 
(Blunted Astronaut) 

The mighty ex-Triple Darkness MC looks set to reissue highlights from his astonishing 2007 'High Fidelity' mixtape soon but before then get yourself up to speed with this simply brilliant EP. The title track is a haunted, smeared head-nodder that recalls Brotherhood in its foggy funk courtesy of The Summit and hazy-yet-furious lyricism, 'Cloudsteppa' on the flip sees DJ Drinks drop a harsh yet supra-spooky backing track under M's non-stop rhymes but the highlight here has to be Lewis Parker's staggering rerub of 'Cloudsteppa', a full-on jazz horn section (bass-clarinet undulating with real stealth and grace) colouring the whole thing with a real Blue-Note/Impulse sense of space, dread and daring. Unmissable.

GEORGE MICHAEL 
GOING TO A TOWN 
(Virgin EMI)
Of course, the true inheritors of P.F. Sloan and Jimmy Webb's legacy don't even know those names. This is all very correct - full orchestra, Rufus Wainwright cover, snore.  I miss the insanity of that 'True Faith' cover. Get back on the weed George. I can do you an eighth for £20. Get in touch.

KYLIE MINOGUE 
I WAS GONNA CANCEL 
(Parlophone)
You have to forget who's involved on first listen. Fans are saying it's not good enough to be a single and there's way better things on the album & yup you'd expect more impact from a Kylie/Pharell collab, undoubtedly the success of 'Happy' is probably why this has been chosen. But this is a serious grower. Were it a debut you'd flip wads.


SINGLE OF THE MONTH 
מזמור (MIZMOR)
VII - Epistemological Rupture
(Bandcamp)

Ok, you get something heavy. Then you put something heavier on top of it. You now have a heavy thing, fine. Then, just for the fuck of it, you lift it up and slip something heavy underneath it, make it swallow something massively heavy and spray-paint it with some sort of collosally heavy coating that makes it even heavier. You're getting close now, but on a whim you then clone it a few times, encase it in a storage tank lined with mile-wide thick lead walls, dip THAT in liquid mercury and then stick shitloads of spare aircraft-carriers over it in a fit of decorative pique. NOW you're getting close to just exactly how cunting heavy this 15 minute monster from Portland fuck-ups Mizmor really is. From a split 12" with Hell that's probably sold out by now y'slack bastard. Holy shitting Jesus this is heavy. It's a heavy thing. Utterly utterly pitiless music. Feel the universe drop in gravity-loaded slabs on your tiny squishy head immediately. This and all those tapes Graceless Recordings are shooting out of Nashville right now are all the GRRR you need this summer.

9th WONDER ft. JOEY FATTS
ALL GOOD/BE INSPIRED 
(Jamla Records)
Holy hell but 9th Wonder's just-dropped 'Jamla is the Squad' compilation is one of 2014's most delicious trunk-bumpers and these two highlights showcase everything that's great about it — gorgeous production, jazziness unmoored by earthly concerns and floating truly free, like Sun Ra-meets-the Beatnuts-meets-your melting mind. 'Be Inspired' in particular manages to combine the warmth and funkativity of Al Green with PR's typically clunky yet on-point rhyming. Get your garden bumping.

ONE DIRECTION 
YOU AND I
(Sony)
I find, as I get older, that I'm reverting to my childhood alot in my critical sense. The other day I became convinced that basically there were two types of music. Fast music - which I like. Slow music - which I hate. 'You And I' is slow, a chunky-jumpered moment that will bore their younger fans as much as it bores me. In its realisation, production, singing, melody it is superior to all the music liked by One Direction's haters. See, I want them to stick around, get bigger. Because me and my grandson like dancing to them. And because, almost to a fault, anyone who gets annoyed by them is probably a 'real music' fan wanker. No matter how irritating 1-D might get, the idea of them irritating their haters is a delicious one and will continue to be. Long may they vex the cretinous.

PANIC AT THE DISCO 
NICOTINE 
(Fueled By Ramen) 

All such man-pop music has been rendered invalid and superfluous by One Republic's 'Counting Stars', a record that on a deep level continues to simultaneously repel and thrill me. This is where Erasure-music has ended up and I'm not sure I'm entirely happy about that.


PETE FLUX & PARENTAL
WARMING UP
(Akromégalie Records)
Sometimes one detail can seize you, adhere your heart to something — 'Warming Up' would otherwise be competent yet unremarkable Diamond D/Pete Rock style hardcore but with this gorgeous backwards Fripp-style guitar tangling itself within the sound, it becomes something approaching essential. Hear it.

SCAR 
FAIRGAME 
(Horizons Music) 
Survival and Script collaborate on this revoltingly wonky low-end stomper. Bass that clasps your brain in its fists and then twists deliciously.

SHAKIRA
EMPIRE 
(Ace Entertainment) 
Cracking the West comes at a price, though this does find the Shak recapturing the vocal idiosyncracy I missed in her last couple of singles, little crooks and those tiny self-detunings she can do, like her voice is a string and someone's budged the machine-head. 'Empire' is Shakira in full-on rock ballad mode and is a promo single purely to boost album sales - as such, though it could be seen as a return to her roots, the pernicious influence of Steve Mac (One Direction, The Wanted, Westlife, Susan Boyle, Il Divo, Leona Lewis, The Saturdays, James Blunt, John Newman) and many others.can be heard throughout, pushing Shak's persona to the edges as pure business-sense takes things over, something that unfortunately ruins what few good songs there are on the new album. If I can be entirely racist and sexist for a moment, someone hook this woman up with Juana Molina and let her make the album she wants to make rather than the one she 'needs' to.


SKYZOO & TORAE
BLUE YANKEE FITTED
(SoundCloud)
Oh man, thought I could get through this year saving my pennies but mygod Skyzoo & Torae's collaborative 'Barrel Brothers' LP is coming and this opening salvo from the duo will have you slavering: snare rasping, bass-lunging low, loops a freaky mix of straight up noise and droning machinery utterly perfect for the subject matter. New York on wax. Cap your dome with this immediately.

SINGLE OF THE MONTH
TI MARCEL 
NAN POINT LA VIE (SIWO VERSION) 
(Sofrito Records) 

Haitian carnival music, using the long, single-note 'Vaksin' bamboo flute ("nature's very own sub-bass") to mesmerising effect over antsy beats that get up in your innards and make you move. From a compilation, 'Haiti Direct', of Compas Direct music (meaning direct beat — a derivative of meringue and the national music of Haiti) that should be utterly compelling - also check out the wonderful mix of synthetics and Piaf-style torch song on Claudette & Ti Pierre's 1979 corker 'Zanmi Camarade'.

TIMEFLIES ft. KATIE SKY 
MONSTERS 
(Island) 
Wow, such an innovative idea. Get the blokes to do the music and rap badly, seriously badly in the verses. Then give the chorus to the female singer and make sure it's 'anthemic'. See also 'Umbrella', 'Fireworks' (Drake & Alicia K), 'What's My Name?' (Rihanna & Drake, 'Love The Way You Lie' by Eminem & Rihanna, 'Got Your Back' by T.I. & Keri Hilson, 'Castle Walls' by T.I. & Christina Aguilera, 'Unstoppable' by Drake, Santo Gold, & Lil Wayne, 'I Need A Doctor' by Dr. Dre, Eminem, & Sklar Grey I mean do I really have to go on? Profitable-template-chasing wankers.

WEBER 
EINS 
(Holger)
I don't know what the fuck he's on but keep that shit away from me. Love those crazy Germans.



PAUL WELLER 
BRAND NEW TOY 
(Virgin EMI) 
Small Faces meets early Bowie meets 'Bennie & The Jets'. And I like all those things. So why don't I like 'Brand New Toy'? Because it's 2014 and the world is ending and the only way we're going to survive is if we push on through to somewhere beyond this endless daily regression. It's like, y'know when you've gone on a really long walk cos you're skint and hungry and you're nearly at your destination? I always masochistically imagine what it'd be like if I blinked and found myself back where I started at. That's what 'Brand New Toy' makes me feel like. Like you're listening to a teacher. A teacher drearily insisting we've got a ton of catching up with the past to get through before we can even get to a point where we can say what being here now is like. I'm a bit sick of that and craving agitation not sedation I say fuck that hiding. I've been walking ages. I want to go onwards. I don't want to hear the shadows of the past that make up the fictions of the present. I want to know what tomorrow could sound like.

PHARRELL WILLIAMS
Marilyn Monroe 

(Columbia)
Dull. Shoulda given it to JT. Although JT can do better. Tight production, like a digitalised Earth Wind & Fire but . . .  dull. And that hat just can't stop reminding me of Don Estelle hawking tapes outside Cov Woolworths. Pass.

XTRAH ft. MIKAL 
NO GOOD/DIRECTIVE 
(Metalheadz Platinum Breakz)
'No Good' has a nicely out-of-tune vocal lick that renders it mournful and moving, great bass-led anti-rhythm to the pulse n all but it's the flip 'Directive' that I love from this, from the heavy harsh beat to the guttural robo-vox to the sci-fi distorted bass it's an ice-cold, chrome-plated fucked up masterpiece I recommend unreservedly.


 YOU ME AT SIX
COLD NIGHT 
(Virgin) 
YMAS assisting in the search for the remains of rock and roll, yesterday
Y'know those cack posters knocked up for local charity gigs that always feature somewhere a  silhouetted clipart graphic of someone playing a guitar with headphones on in mid-air with spikey hair? Little known fact that all such graphics were culled from a single 3-song photo session in the pit at a You Me At Six show. I must admit to have been entirely oblivious to their implacable rise from the rock-mag covers to the heights of stadium pop-rock tedium so I'm glad to catch up with the pulse on this, their latest airbrushed plop of a single, rock for the practically Christian , rock surely only people for whom Paramore are a step too far into extremity . In fairness, for that is what I'm engaged in now, they're better at this than Kings Of Leon, in fact, they're nearly as good as the mighty shitey Snow Patrol. I just have a question, and sorry if this makes me seem 'out of touch' to you jungenvolk. Are they . . . real? Or animated? I can't tell. I mean, in the video they look like they've been sketched out on a lightpad but how does that work when they play live? Are they holograms? They can't be real, they're too compositely perfect, too correct, too utterly bereft of humanity- god I feel so stupid! If they're animated, good work, although not quite Pixar quality, more second-tier Dreamworks. Amazing what they can do now. See u in summer pop kid. 

SHIT TO READ AND HEAR THIS BANK HOLIDAY

NEW OLD THINGS TO HEAR

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A few new mixes at my mixcloud page. Open 'em on mixcloud to peep the tracklistings.

Firstly in addition to the two New Nineties UK mixes, did a US version featuring tracks from Dub Narcotic Sound System, Come, Codeine, Shudder To Think, Rodan, Chavez, Low, Spain, Throwing Muses, Unwound, Swell, Acetone, JSBX, Helium, Thinkin Fellers Union Local 282, Tortoise, Jessamine, Labradford, Six Finger Satellite, Royal Trux and more. Enjoy.



And have also created 2 mixes for the year 1993. No separation tween UK & US tracks this time, dive in and dig and you might also enjoy the F.U.N.K Radio Cloudcasts as well as well as my 'Spare Hours' selections.



METAL TAPES & LINKS FOR A DIRTY BLACK SUMMER

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Proper label releases by Triptykon, Mastodon and Behemoth may well have been occupying the heavy part of your mind thus far in 2014 but there's so much great metal available on bandcamp & tape at the moment I had to tell you about these.

"Formed in early 2011 as a Stoner/Doom band in a shithole in Akureyri, but with increased irritability and distress Naught naturally crawled towards Sludge. Naught is driven by negativity."

Yeah. I'd agree. This is not happy music. And the unhappiness seems to extend beyond nihilism about life but nihilism about music as well. Naught seem intent on removing all flash from their sound. ALL flash. Old cliche in metal that in actual fact it's uplifting, creates you an identity, galvanises your pride and isolation. Naught do none of this. They're not larger than life. This is not inspiring music, it doesn't make you feel bigger. Although it's heavy, it's as small as you, as lifesize as your own despair. This is a rawness not borne from any desire for authenticity but a rawness born of shame, appalled horror at music offering any kind of veil. There is nothing mythical or mystical about Naught. They seemingly exist purely to shit this stuff out before it eats their insides. So slow. So one-take. So utterly un-selfpiteous.

Previously only on bandcamp "Tómhyggjublús" (the title translates to "Emptiness Blues" which just about nails it) will soon be available on Transylvania Tapes.

Bandcamp is truly a trove as ever. Too many things to point you towards from names you already know but top of that particular list has to be this new ish from SUNN O))) . . .




. . . of the new breed I'm currently digging Threshing from Tallahassee, Florida, whose free (if you're tight, if not, drop em a dime or several) self-titled 3-track debut kicks off on some eerie buddhist chants and drone (the whole thing is peppered with much found-sound oddity) before 'Church Warden' steps forth on giant, cumbersome legs to flatten your world. The non-majorness of the chords is key here, dropped strings and open-ness more akin to slo-core faves like Idaho or Codeine than anything borne of the horNED hand, delay-strewn distortion over soft acoustics redolent of Flying Saucer Attack or Jessamine. Quite dismally wonderful.



While we're on a doomy tip very much enjoying the charred pustulence of Altar's 'Plague Pit'  which with titles like 'Under The Banner Of Carrion' you know can't fail, and which puts in some fantastic grindhouse samples amidst its titanic waves of fat-heavy gore and sludge. Swedish doom par excellence.




From Italy come Buioingola with their superb 'Dopo L'Apnea' set - possessed massively of that one unplaceable unlearnable variable that makes this kind of post-metal racket work - atmosphere in abundance. If it aint racist to say so (and it probably is) - Goblin would let them play suppport. Intense, emotional, I don't understand a word of it but I feel every second.




Also at the 'looking peaky' end of things, Cursed Altar  (Bio: "Anger. Emptiness. Depression. Hatred") have a new free 4-track album out that's fantastic and completely fucks with your expectations. With most black-metal tracks hitting the 13 minute mark these days 'The Light Shall Die' packs everything (all 4 songs!) in within 6 minutes flat. Abyssal fuzz, song-structures like prolaptic spasms, punk, blackcrust, doom, sludge, noise all chewed up and spat out in 4 little pipebombs of trauma. Utterly superb.



(and if it's straight-up fucked-up church-burning satanism you want, have to say that the hazed-out dazed-out  'Consecration Of The Temple by London-based maggots Qrixkuor will paint it black all summer long. I can't tell if it's fucking awful or fucking magnificent which is usually a good sign that this is great great black metal)



Arizona psychonauts Gatecreeper's self-titled free 4 tracker is some of the finest death metal I've heard all year, crunching riffs, ace double-teamed guitar attack, storming licks and leads and a ferocity to the beats that recalls prime Sepultura or Morbid Angel. Get it while they're still pure and putrid - these guys are too good not to get signed sharpish.



It says "noisy Hardcore Punk from Barcelona" on Veils bandcamp page but that's only a fraction of the story: the tempos are fast but their free debut five-tracker 'Unquestionable Appreciation Of Suffering' is tight as fuck (no songs over 4 minutes), has a density more akin to death metal, and is prone to moments of sheer shrieking noise from the darker end of power-electronics. Loving this fuck-off loud at the moment.



Like so much else that's vital in metal at the moment 'Gatecreeper' and 'Suffering' were first put out on cassette, that long-maligned, increasingly cherished format. Undoubtedly part of what's going on with tape's re-emergence as underground format is a fetishisation of metal's tape-heavy past (alot of us have incredibly clear memories of first hearing Venom, Celtic Frost and others first on bootlegged tapes or fanclub tapes), but it's not just nostalgia or an attempt to copy their heroes that's causing so many bands to use it. It genuinely is a way of parsing out the twats, maintaining a loyal, hardcore underground fanbase. Nashville tape label Graceless Recordings deal with nothing else. Their output is by turns disturbing, hilarious, ear-razing and grimly compelling - particularly spinning a propellor into my soft choppable face are the mighty Alraune who simultaneously channel the unkindred spirits of Sarcofago, Sister-era Sonic Youth and Darkthrone into an unholy caboodle of carnage.




Also Pissgrave's self-titled demo features a truly unpleasant sleeve and some utterly horrific music, all slathered in the most satanic-sounding evil-goblin vocals you've ever heard. Fucking marvellous aggravation.




and Sewer Goddess creates a truly startling femme-take on Industrial Death that's utterly engrossing and will have social services at your door if you even crack a window on it for a moment. Keep it in your headphones and let the demons build around and within you. JESUS WEPT.


If anyone has anything else I should be listening to in Da Wuld Ov Metal please do comment below. Until the sun starts disappearing again, let's keep it dark.

SHELF LIFE 1

"An overdub has no choice": R.I.P GERRY GOFFIN 1939-2014

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“No matter what you write it always sounds good on the radio, so they sound fine. But not as fine as Chuck Berry. I think Chuck Berry wrote the best lyrics to describe what it was like in teenage America in those days. I think his was a more accurate picture than mine. I didn’t realize how good his lyrics were–because I didn’t listen to lyrics much, I just sort of enjoyed them–until I got a job and had to write them every day."

I didn't know
It could be done so easily.
Now I know


"I started writing songs when I was eight years old. I mean just lyrics, like some kind of game in my head. I’d think of them as songs. They’d have a kind of inane melody. Sometimes I would sing the melodies over chords, but they were pretty horrible. In fact, even after we made it, no one recorded them. When there was a completed melody and a whole structure and I’d write to that, those seemed to be better songs. Many of them were written simultaneously, one line at a time. When you’re writing something good it always seems to be easy. Any time it took me a long time to write a song it usually wasn’t too good a song. When I say good I mean something that’s right, marketable, that has something to say. It has to go through a lot of different ears; different people have to decide if it’s something that people want to hear. If it gets on the radio and if people want to hear it, they buy it. That’s how I thought I could tell if a song was going to be a hit or not, or how big a hit it would be–by listening to it on the radio. I never listened at home; I used to always listen in the car. I don’t know, it was just something about the resonance of the car radio, usually with the good records you caught the sound of a hit single."

You may lead me to the chasm where the rivers of our vision
Flow into one another
I will want to die beneath the white cascading waters



“There’s also another thing. There’s a certain magic that some records have and that some records don’t have and that’s not a quality you can capture unless everything is going right, and that’s something that comes and goes and there’s no formula for it. I’m talking about even at a record session. There are so many personalities involved, so many variables. Sometimes you could write a mediocre song and it becomes a big hit–it’s really hard to talk about.”

My, my, the clock in the sky is pounding away
And there's so much to say,
A face, a voice, an overdub has no choice,
An image cannot rejoice


PRINCE, HIT & RUN PT. II TOUR, LG ARENA, BIRMINGHAM, 15/05/14

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(thanks to Wil at the 405 for the hook-up)


SO, there are those great gigs you go to. Those good gigs you go to. Those bad gigs you go to. All seem to exist on the same scale. This was off the scale in every way. This was so good, halfway through your mind was making cast-iron assurances that tomorrow you’d quit your job, quit your life, quit everything just to dedicate the rest of your paltry existence to chasing . . . this, this night, these feelings, this turning of yourself inside out. This was so good I’ve started seeing my life ever since, at least in those rare moments where the palpitations have stopped, in two distinct stages. There was my life up to this night, and now I’m starting the second phase of my life after this night. My pre-seeing-Prince years are gone now. Nothing I learned in them can help me now. I’m now in my post-seeing-Prince years. They will be productive.
   Never seen him before, never thought I’d get the chance. £75 quid a pop was too rich for my blood. Craven and shameless begging on twitter got me on the gitlist. Only found out on the morning. Whole day a dizzying exhausting mix of dealing with reality, barely able to apprehend any importance in the day-to-day shit I was doing, unable to truly comprehend what I would be going to see. I was going to see fkn PRINCE. Not just another singer, not just another gig – this man, and I count myself among innumerable ugly Asian guys in the 80s in this - wasn’t just a musical bomb in that decade and in my life, he proffered the possibility that being a short-arsed hairy brown person you could also be cut from God’s own image. On the way out of Cov we find ourselves following a massive limo, doubtless just some gig-goers who decided to make a night of it, but we convince ourselves it’s Mr.Nelson himself, hid in the back with nothing but a few copies of The Watchtower and his make-up artist for company. Something about the limo, blacked out, no decals about ‘available for hire’, had us following, stalker-like, from a safe two-second-rule distance. Eventually, halfway up the A45 it pulls into a Texaco. We debate pulling in as well, surmise rightly that if it was the Purple One stopping off for a snack it’d be his driver who he’d send in for his Ginsters Spicy Slice, so stay on the road, get to the LG, park, walk, judging our fellow fans on whether they’re wearing purple. A crush, and we’re in, and we’re waiting, heart trembling, listening to the smartly-chosen ‘Big Fun’-era Miles Davis that’s getting everyone tenser and tenser, and we still can’t quite believe that we’re here. We’re gonna wake up in a minute. This can’t be real.

   Deliberate false-starts. Third time’s the charm. Curtain drop. FUCK ME IT’S REALLY HIM. Looking stunning, looking like the kind of cat Marc Bolan would drop a couplet on. Silk pyjama jumpsuit, lightly-flared, beautiful. IT’S REALLY HIM. THIS IS REAL. AND IT’S REALLY HAPPENING. RIGHT NOW. IN FRONT OF US. From then on the thoughts, the impossibility of ‘thoughts’ – come too thick n fast n creamy to be chronologically delineated and kiss my arse if you think I could take ‘notes’ so let’s break it down thusly.


1.  The band. Fuck me what a band. 3rdEyeGirl are blazing, funky like playing pocket billiards with planet-sized-cojones, HEAVY as hell. When Ida Nielsen hits that fuzz pedal on ‘Musicology’ her bass turns into this thing of coruscating electric wonder, NOISE at stadium-sized affect. And Hannah Ford’s drumming throughout is a thing of rolling joy and bliss and drama – there’s times when she’s so funky she sounds like a dub-production is being enacted on what she’s playing as she’s playing it. Astonishing musicians, locked in from the off, no ‘warming up’, just instant white heat and black power. And Donna Grantis is Prince’s perfect foil on guitar, great enough to match him lick for lick but able to step back and provide perfect Jimmy Nolen-style scratchy backing when the man wants to get lurid and loose on the simmering ‘Empty Room’.  3rdEyeGirl are genuinely the heaviest thing I’ve ever seen at the LG, even heavier than AC-DC were a few years back and that’s fucking heavy. The loudness and the glory.



2.  HIM. I never got to see James Brown, Jimi Hendrix, Earth Wind & Fire, T.Rex, My Bloody Valentine, Kraftwerk, This Heat, New Order, Joni Mitchell, Miles Davis, Sly & The Family Stone, Merzbow. Doesn’t matter now. I saw HIM. At various points Prince recalls all of them, smart enough to leave enough space to let the funky moments really get inside your bones and make your toes curl, genius enough that when he plays guitar he really does recall Hendrix/Hazel but still puts across nothing but his OWN blend of what he’s listened to. And still a brilliant, bewitching dancer. In a sense, Prince is the last living relic we have that directly touches back to those aulden times in music, crucially though every time he plays a note he propels us into the future. ‘Musicianship’ is something it’s become incredibly difficult to defend or respect or acclaim anymore – so often does it mean the tedium of wanky solos, empty showboating. In Prince the whole concept gets opened up to the full possibilities perhaps only Miles & Jimi ever touched before – every moment of Prince’s guitar playing is a juddering jolt of electric wow that pushes your jaw just that extra inch closer to the floor. And he’s not frowning or sweating, he’s looking like the coolest motherfucker you ever saw in your life, he’s looking like he’s ENJOYING it, like he’s just as turned on by the sheer psychedelic outrageousness of what he’s conjuring from his battle-axe cum magic wand. ]#
   Two utterly astonishing moments as well where he entirely slips the rock-god leash and transmogrifies into utterly contrary identities– one a gorgeous medley of songs where he’s at the piano, pure Donny Hath/Joni style and you realise his voice is somehow older, but still immortal, his voice this thing that, like his playing, can seemingly DO ANYTHING, flying from the most sultry depths to the most shattering falsetto in the space of a syllable. Another moment where he steps behind what looks like a straight-up DJ set-up (samplers, decks), and pushes buttons and ‘Hot Thing’ and ‘Sign Of The Times’ happen LOUDER than you’ve ever heard ‘em, heaviest harshest electro beats you’ve heard live since Public Enemy. And you dance and you scream and you swear down you’re getting that logo tattooed on your FACE tomorrow – this guy can fucking do ANYTHING. Brum crowds are slow but in a way entirely free of gimmickry or hoodwinkery he stirs them, times it, paces it, builds it, like no-one else on earth. Greatest showman I’ve ever seen in my life.


3. The songs. The setlist is incredible, as you’d imagine from someone with so much to pull from but it’s the variety that’s key, the quixoticness/suprasmartness of his choices, the little surprises, the odd turns & twists & tweaks it takes that make it not quite a greatest-hits package, and then the glorious moments when he unleashes a monster like ‘1999’, ‘Kiss’ or ‘Beautiful Ones’ on your intensely gratified ass. The way he turns ‘Let’s Go Crazy’ into a monstrously bruising Sabbath-style grind of heaviosity, the way ‘U Got The Look’ and ‘Controversy’ come barraging in to the crowd’s total delight and surprise, the way ‘Diamonds & Pearls’ and ‘I Would Die 4 U’ get spun out and yet abruptly killed with brutal chutzpah, sky-high panache. This whole night is a master class in how to fuck with your past with just the right amount of irreverence and reinvention AND just the right amount of respect to not piss on people’s memories. It’s only on the way home that I think “man, no ‘Dorothy Parker’ or ‘Girlfriend’” but by then, like everyone else, I’m a sticky sated mess with his name in my heart and rattling in my brain with the ear-ringing deafening frenzy of a new-convert. Beforehand I was thinking – there’s no-one alive or dead I want to see play for 3 hours. At the end, I want to go see him again. And again. And again. NOW.


Finally, a thought that can’t be added to a list because it’s too important, a thought that occurs at 4 in the morning, cos of course, after this, I can’t sleep, I’m still buzzing, my head full of undeniable inarguable HIM. It strikes me that the most important thing about what I’ve just seen isn’t about skill or technique or songs or showmanship, it’s not about something you can learn or fake. It’s about generosity. Generosity of spirit in your music. At all times Prince does the incredible things he does FOR the people. At no point is this merely flash. If it was, my god WHAT flash. But there’s something about the way Prince puts his music across that’s about love, about love for us, and our love for him – he never scowls, he never moans if the crowd don’t sing back as loud as he wants them to, he never makes us feel like we HAVE to do anything. He starts a party and he keeps that party going and it’s the greatest party you’ve ever been at and you feel blessed and honoured to have been there, bear witness, got DOWN with the man. He just gives us his songs with a total openness of spirit and heart.
   That’s the thing, perhaps the only thing, that links all true artistic immortals, that deep intrinsic instinctive unselfishness, and Prince exudes it out of every pore. There’s moments tonight where it’s as if he IS music, in some way a living avatar of music’s true liberating spirit, the openness, the freedom, the suggestiveness, the abstractness, the horniness, the transcendence that has us all hooked our whole lives made flesh. He’s everything. Incredible moment when he thanks us for not using our phones, then gets everyone to turn on and transform the place into a sea of stars. And then, during ‘Purple Rain’, which is the most moving moment of my entire life of gig-going, you realise not just that you feel you’re part of that film’s closing sequence but also that that kind of fantasy is precisely what Prince makes real, right here and now. In a time where it’s become orthodoxy that there’s nothing new under the sun, Prince gives you back a new you, under a new sun, dancing a new dance. He makes your life, in seeing him, feel that big, that worth it. That’s an incredibly rare and precious gift, to be able to make people feel that life is worth pushing on with. Utterly inspirational. Totally mind-blowing. It’s amazing what a person can do with music. The pivotal moment I feel the rest of my life will be spun out from. I don’t care if that’s delusion. It’s the best delusion I’ve ever felt.

White Power And Black Pop: The 1Xtra 'Power List'

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Suckered in the morning, wise by teatime but still at sundown an old graze stings again, a dormant papercut refreshed. Isn't it nice when your low expectations are undercut with such clumsiness, such idiot innocence?  Initially I was tickled by the fact that 1Xtra had published a list of their most 'Important Artists In Music' of which 3 of the top 4 were white, nodded at Wiley's amusement, growled a little at those who thought something could be remedied or set right by the names on that list being more preponderately black. Never gonna happen. You're in England remember. We don't progress in our racial politics, we just get more self-congratulatory and blind. 
    Hence the immediate dismissal of criticism, the semantic pirhouettes, the insistence that all keepers of the racial order always insist on - 'it's not about race'. We'd all expect a list that foregrounds overwhelmingly white male pop names to be defended thus but what did tweak my nips about the screens I looked at this morning was the deeper, longer narrative about British pop you could see moving under the skin, behind the pixels. "Compiled by industry professionals". Absolutely goddamned right. I know what quantifies importance for those guys and consequently the list hurts cos it's true as the FTSE or Nasdaq - the problem is not that Sheeran and Disclosure and Sam Smith shouldn't be on such a list, the problem is that in terms of 'importance' to the music industry and influence over that tired-old keen-young industry's idea of what 'black and urban music' means, Sheeran and the others genuinely ARE influential. By equating, as we all have to now, 'importance' with economic impact, the industry can safely ensure it never seeks out any music straying too far from the golden-aim of 'crossover' or that would antagonise a white middle class audience. And so we arrive at a place where a racist, snobbish industry, with the press' ongoing acceptance, can continue to eliminate & shut out big neglected swathes of the music being made by the people of this country. A fake meritocracy that operates on pure favouritism, that can only push from the margins to the mainstream those names blandly palatable enough, safely connected enough with the existing power-structure, the right school or parents with their feet already in the door and a few hundred-thou in the bank to buy their kids the future they dreamed of.


Part of the problem is the existence of 1Xtra itself. I have problems with that, just like I have problems with the Asian network and Radio 6 and alot of the BBC's loss-leaders and specialist networks. I think they benefit older radio listeners to the detriment of kids in need of protecting from the ceaseless powermove onslaught of corporate pop. I don't think those stations benefit the minority communities in a real way because they make it easier for the BBC to continually marginalise those stations output away from their 'one-nation' voices, thus being able to keep those major stations as safe and neutered and unplayful as possible.  Keep the Locals local, the Loyal loyal, and the great unwashed at the edge of music, paddling in the shallows, any depths or drop-offs safely farmed out to those who are prepared for them - the priveleged 20 odd percent of listeners and dedicated fans who listen digitally. Despite the looming big switchover, despite their supposed committment to digital minority programming the marketing of BBC radio tells its own story, a massive foregrounding of 1, 2 and 4, an almost dreamlike non-mentioning of anything else unless something cross-platformy (eg. the Proms, Glastonbury) comes along. It bugs me that the BBC seems content to let its 'lesser' brands linger on the margins comparitively massively underpromoted compared to their flagship networks, while still being under threat of closure should their precarious and small RAJAR figures slip. Beyond that it bugs me that the major national radio stations are becoming more blanched and ossified, more parochial, more expressive of a primarily white understanding of modern British pop and British musical history. It fits with industry notions of the categories and strictures and shapes pop's present past and future must remain within - we have reached a point where, for all its self-piteous lifecoaching, the idea of pop as transformative of life, rupturing of the intellect, breaking barriers, busting heads, has been all but abandoned. Pop is confirming of life on radio right now, the hand on the shoulder too earnest to even think about straying down and copping a feel or reaching up & tweaking your nose. A soundtrack to your consumerism. The wallpaper of your essentially commercial existence, and thus it has to 'clean up' the more rugged genres it pulls from, make garage cosy, make rap tuneful, make grime behave itself and always always always, just as it's always been in the UK, it's only white artists who can perform that magical act of thievery, dilution and repackaging, it's only white artists who can fully reap the benefits of black innovation. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.


Pop radio, like the pop it plays, merely waits to settle on your lifestyle. Would never threaten it. Surprise is abandoned, the unforgettable radio moment of chance revelation forgotten in favour of the sureity of loyal ratings, quite rightly of course, to stay 'competetive'. The structure exudes itself an extra layer for this competetive edge, a 'diverse network' where the key is knowing your place, the sense of shared learning that was the BBC shattered into shards and target-audiences, a fragmentation in which mutual education stops and private indulgence is sated. In the name of catering for diversity the BBC's output becomes ghettoized, the playlists become narrower in the precise place where they should be opened up, on the network enjoyed mainly by kids. So black and white kids, the CDE's lumbered with old ways of listening (as opposed to those agile hyper-connected ABCs who for some reason BBC Radio seem to think are their target audience) listening to Radio 1 get fed only the most watered-down cross-fertilizers and stage-school pootlers in every genre, very-rarely the hardest-core from within those genres, the spitters and shredders who might really challenge but more importantly really delight. The 3 million odd people who listen to 6, Asian Network and 1Xtra are 'catered for', certainly - I just wish more of that content could be considered worthy of the rest of us. A bhangra tune, a grime tune, a voice not sanctioned by a major label in the daytime playlist? The national radio station sounding like the nation? Too much to expect perhaps, but some of my most formative pop memories are when something was put in my day that my day couldn't deal with, whether that was something odd spun by Annie or Peelie or those odd moments where something non-pop (hip-hop/metal/alternative) crashed into the breakfast playlist. Even yearning for such moments seems antiquated now. Get with the program. You're catered for, somewhere.







Beyond the individual source of this latest nonsense (and I happen to think that too often 1Xtra is a model of wasted potential) the major faultline in this shitstorm is that word 'important'. 'Important' (like 'iconic') is pure management-speak when it comes to music. It means 'stop here, look no further'. 'Importance' will always favour that which finds itself open to compromise, that which can adhere widely, across 'territories' and 'reaches' and 'awarenesses', build up enough agglomerative strength to hit those magic numbers whereby money starts coming your way. And the more often other notions of importance get written out of music, the less likely they are to return or be rediscovered, so the future looms, a hierarchy from old old roots of race and class, a hierarchy that kids us its a meritocracy. At the teat-end, we can't afford a future anymore. It's been postponed. So what we must do is engage far more furiously with the present and win ourselves a future. For they, those who have a future, will do anything to prevent us being there. And they have more time than we do to make sure of that, to ensure our vassalage and fealty or if we refuse, shut us out from the system altogether. It's colder than it's ever been out there. What are you willing to give up to make it?



Of course, as they're fucking idiots for making these lists, we're idiots for paying attention to them, but I'm sure 'importance' meant something else once. Or at least, could mean something more than just mercentile credit, a canny investment. As politics has delegated its responsibilities to business so goes so much critique (so much 'content' about music is fknway too content about music), analysis becomes a look at the figures and stats, appreciation a tacked on checklist of tired cross-reference and cliche. I loathe the idea of a 'Powerlist' but it's a bitter pill we should suck on a while cos it suits these mendacious, craven times, is something of a perfect emblem of the endlessly infantile listed ordering & toptrumps competetiveness that comes when a culture is looked at through backwards opera-glasses from the safe remove of the capital, fogged by chortling. 'Power'& 'importance' are useful things to write about because you don't have to write about the music, and they're particularly useful things to hide behind when ostensibly speaking for music fans you don't understand. Y'know, just like Jay-Z is the most important rapper of the previous decade, Kanye the most important rapper of this decade. Nothing to do with music, all to do with the most superficial of impressions, the bullying of airtime, the weight of hashtags and clicks: 'importance' and the search for it is a way for a lazy white superstructure to ameliorate its guilt about its own ignorance, the blatant contrast between its love of 'serious' white music in all its variety, its faint distaste for investigating anything bar the most obvious, deoderised or corporate-backed music from the other side of the racial tracks. 
   I know, change the record, been backspinning this a while now. But what unsettled me this morning was my own unsettlement. At my age, you might want to be resigned to this stuff cos you've experienced it so many times in your life as a pop fan, British pop's superiority complex about black music, the pat on the back it reflexively reflectively gives itself for waybackwhen reintroducing black American music to white america, the enabled entitlement to turn a blind-eye to what's going on now down its own streets. The elbows it throws out to ensure that any such flourishing of interest in black music from within our own borders can't get any oxygen, light, a chance to grow or go beyond the grassroots of localised scenes, without blanching itself with a touch of folk, a pinch of house, something to make it palatable to the playlisters. Reading the 'power' list, I had that not altogether unfamiliar feeling of apprehending how much worse things are getting, especially as the majors the PR and the press gets increasingly sewn up by an ever-narrowing class & race base. One of the most magical things about music is that it is communication between people unlikely to meet, a window into other worlds that are going on alongside your own, a response to urges you didn't know you had. By reducing music to a lucrative centre of overarching dullness creatively fed & sustained by margins of ever-dwindling opportunity the BBC are part of the damaging process of centralisation and conformity currently strangling the life out of pop and eliminating wonder from the charts. By qualitatively reducing music's analysis to an almost-mathematical evaluation of 'mobility' within markets, the 'Powerlist' eerily mirrors an entirely corporate & governmental idea of what music and the creative industries should be all about. By talking about it, of course we're all merely adding to the 'success' 1Xtra doubtless see the list as being, but our conclusions should be clear. Turn your back on the powerful. Seek the powerless. Fuck the statisticians. Do your own digging. 

POP GOES THE WEASEL WORDS #1: 'Passion'

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From Gorkana.com but really, could be from anywhere right now. 



Jesu Christu Saints Preserve Us Don't ever ever ever call me 'passionate' about music. I'm as interested in being 'passionate' about music as I am about being 'credible'. Only people who at a fundamental level don't truly need music could summate their feelings about it as 'passionate'. I'm not 'passionate' about music because music is not something I come to from a life being led without it. Music is part of my life, part of me..., part of my make up and consequently I have as complex a relationship with it as I do with my body, heart and soul. Like those three things, music's too complex, too mutable to not be rejected now and then, hated, shut out, questioned, ignored, refused, resisted. 

'Passion' is the word the music marketeers use to grease their moves of exploitation, just as they have in football. They understand the fan's 'passionate' love. Thus better placed and justified in treating those fans like cattle, like idiots. 'Passion' is the word used in job-adverts, CVs, Linkedin profiles, career-development materials, it's a management word spoken by management people, a corporate word that corporations enbalm themselves with, a word you spout in the shameful self-loathing of a job interview, it's the word cast around by the creative sector to let the dog see the rabbit, the subtextual insistence that skill, or anger, or ability, or having some discontent behind your content, some style or substance doesn't really matter so long as you're keen. Madpash. Passionate. Passionate about strategic solutions for multi-platform brand identities. Passionate about dashboard paradigms and hotspots and dwelltime. Fucking fuck anyone who uses the word passionate unless they're talking about fucking. 

Fans aren't so dumb. Quite often, quite rightly, we feel dispassionate about music. Often dispassion enables insight and 'passion' clouds it. The dispassion that comes when pop hasn't just disappointed you but has betrayed you. The dispassion that comes from being a fan. 

POP GOES THE WEASEL WORDS #2: 'Soul'

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One look at this gormless cunt should tell you pretty much everything you need to know about his music, his message, his mithering mediocrity - though set up to be the opposite of pop's shallow show he's demonstrative of that fact that the way a band or artist LOOKS is massively important, massively revealing in ways the music doesn't have to be. You can hide in sound. The camera never lies and just look at the fucking state of this turnip-headed twat. A face that signifys his intrinsic dipshittitude even more than his horrific music or the lunkheaded quotes above. 

But Bugg's not really the focus here. The problem is that word 'soul'. Somewhere along the line musicians, esp. fkn white musicians, started thinking it was an acceptable word for them to steal, a word that could be applied to ALL music, no matter who the source or intent. That word needs taking back. 'Soul' is far less useful as a genre term than it is as a signifier of a very specific time and place - those early 60s years where gospel and r'n'b and new politics met up, and started talking about a world beyond the bar or the bedroom or the pulpit. 'Soul' for me is essentially political because of the times it was borne in, whether explicitly so (Marvin/Stevie/Temps/Hayes) or implicitly so for the alternative black reality it propounded, the self-sufficient strength of an alternative corporate America (Motown/Stax/Hi) it exemplified and pushed out there. For me 'soul' starts with Sam Cooke, ends roundabout the mid 70s with the Philly sound and disco refocussing things towards sensuality and joy. By the late 70s and early 80s other musics had taken that political edge away (hip-hop) and r'n'b became more useful as a term to describe most black pop as once again love and relationships became the main lyrical focus, at its best though always with soul's traces of a wider-world still threaded and glimmering through. There's very very little since 1980 that I'd describe as soul music. That's not a condemnation of that music, it's just a realisation that the historical necessity of soul's creation had passed, had played out, had come to an end, would find its expression and elaboration elsewhere. Whatever would come would need a new name. 


It's the interchangeability of 'soul' and 'soulful' in white musical consciousness that Bugg's expressing here. So a perceived lack of substance, an abundance of showiness/superficiality becomes 'soullessness', becomes things having 'no soul'. Take heed as to what the likes of Bugg mean by music being soulful. They mean it's simple. They mean it's clear. They mean it's naive - a direct communique between artist and listener, 'from the heart', 'from inside'. These people are the same fucking people who critiqued Isaac Hayes when he exploded and expanded the possibilities of pop and the pop song, derided his epic vision for lacking 'soul', insisted he should return to his more 'soulful' roots. These are the same people who wrinkle their nose with faint distaste when confronted with the post-60s reality that black pop wouldn't stay within the simplistic 'from-the-heart' confines they wanted it to, when it dared to fuck around with identity and sound beyond the supposed clarity of it's first footlings (a totally white misapprehension of the essential complexity of identity in blues and r'n'b music in the first place). They forget just how lush a dream, how ambiguous and charged by the OUTSIDE  'A Change Is Gonna Come' was, and that was the first fucking soul record. They don't realise that their notion of something being 'soulful' stems from such a withered, unthinking idea about what art is, what an artist can do - an idea that comes from their own inability to see beyond their own self-indulgence, see music as anything other than 'expression'. And they want music to fall into their own anointed sense of 'timelessness', imbued with immortal characteristics that surpass time, place, politics, erasing any potential fractiousness in the cannon. They want music to be as pathetic and tediously QUALITY as their own. 


Soul music is none of Jake Bugg's fucking business. And if his shit's 'soulful' we can all draw our own conclusions as to exactly how little that word is worth. Like 'passion' it's a word designed to limit music, erase thought about music. Next time you hear it, ask yourself what the person using it is using it to signify. More importantly ask yourself WHY they might be using it. My guess is the reasons are dumb. And weaselly. 

STRANGE U: EP#2040

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STRANGE U
EP #2040
(Bandcamp)
The official word, again, is that hip-hop's played out. Lost its musical power and innovation, dumbed down into a rotation of monomania, misogyny, violence. The official word is as dumb and lazy as ever and as ever, is not listening.
   
(Real fucking lazy. I mean, even accepting your US-centric myopia,  a few weeks from Ferguson and THIS sounds sharper than ever and don't you dare tell me that ANY OTHER TYPE OF POP on the planet is saying anything even close to it).

   But why are you holding your pisscup out to the States for anyway? Why do you care about 'realness' anyhoo? When the only 'realness' that's gonna help right now is a commitment to transforming what's real in determinedly lurid cartoon ambition, a focus on fantasy that can unpick those damaging fantasies that chain us to cliche and stereotype and liberate those fantasies that might unchain us, that might make us not just too big for our boots but make our boots MASSIVE. Music that understands that the only way to stay sane is find a way to make the insanity that reality insists is mandatory productive? When the only way to possibly, reasonably, move through time and not want to die is to suffuse your time with the unreal, the absurd, the surreal, the impossible, and unreasonable?

   Or if I can boil this till it hardens and cracks and splinters and sets you free can I simply ask, why the hell are you not listening to Strange U right now?

   Right fucking now. Their new 7-tracker, the cryptically monikered EP#2040 is just about one of the most astonishing things I've heard all year and is more addictive than any other lie keeping you alive this autumn. Ever since I first got it I've needed it 3 times a day. To get me off the straight and narrow, to get me on the twisted and wide. It contains sounds and words that blast doors in your consciousness, that makes the rub and rattle of your own inner horror that little bit more liveable with. Strange U are a side-project of rapper Kashmere and producer Dr Zygote. Kashmere has for a long time been one of the most compellingly strange and unique voices in British music. His lyrics are always a wipe of the third-eye with a triple-strength acid blotter, a true tapping of hip-hop's near-forgot potential to be both titanically egoistic and become a process of shattering those fictional identities into a myriad revealing fragments. His work takes on rap's essentially self-aggrandizing energy and inflates it to preposterous, hugely unsettling extremes - revealing both the collosal unreality behind our 'real' selves and the huge dishonesty most from-the-heart honesty carries with it. By turns he can be hardcore poet, fictional superhero, rambling schizophrenic, wide-eyed visionary, red-eyed prophet, badman on the street, kid in his bedroom geeking out over his comics, mile-high robotic overlord. Check out everything you can by the man (particularly his Raiders Of The Lost Archives and Galaktus albums, as well as his work alongside Jehst in the pharmacologically unhinged, Hunter S.-influenced Kingdom Of Fear). And if you want, read my interview with his Galaktus persona here.

But before you do. Check out EP#2040. It's free.

Dr Zygote has been the producer and co-founder (alongside the equally nuts/genius Jazz T) of perhaps the greatest unsung modern British music label, Boot Records. The Boot crew have produced some of UK music's most astonishing highpoints and abyssal depths in the past few years, have a trademark sound that's all their own, instantly identifiable, utterly addictive, a sound once heard that demands you seek out everything you can find with the JT/DrZ/Boot imprint. Heavy beats, sick and deranged low-ends, treble populated with all kinds of noise and wreckage and black science friction. It's a groggy, gorgeously bleak brew you will want more of as soon as the first contact-high starts pounding from your numb lips to your cortex - listen to previous Boot productions of work by Kash, Ramson Badbonez and Cappo and you'll see and hear what I mean. Boot are entirely d.i.y and self-sufficient, have no networked-up pals, rely entirely on word of mouth and their genius can be checked out here.

But before you do. Check out EP#2040. Did I mention? It's fucking FREE.

When Kash and JT come together to make Strange U music, something altogether new starts happening. A freedom their other personas stop shy of. A determination to making their words walk and step into the listeners day, start haunting their daydreams and stalking their nightmares. Opener 'The Cake Is A Lie' comes in on seven-league bassboots and skyhigh uppers and jeebus hyperion Christ I don't think I've heard such a thuddingly bruising hip-hop track since . . . actually scratch that I HAVEN'T heard hip-hop quite like this before. As much Fela as New Kingdom, as much Live/Evil as Real Live, as much Scientist/Roots Radics as it is Premo. In their own words "inspired by the spirits of Oshun, Vishnu, Apollo, Sobek and Jim Henson".  But it's also Kash's lines, pitchbent down to a wonderfully overloaded gruffness, flat out telling us he doesn't give a fuck about being real but then making that immolation immortal by sounding like his dreams, built on a lifetime of cultural junk-addiction, are true, will come to life so long as he can birth them through verbalising them. You'd be fucking daft to deny him, to suggest these things aren't real. Check out the street. Check out the government. You telling me that 'reality' isn't a fucking joke or a nightmare or a horror-show right now? At a time when 'competing'/'competetiveness' is what everyone from yr idiot teachers and parents all the way up to the front-bench of parliament have dripping from their mouths like so much re-heated re-eaten vomit, who wants rap music that's still all about beating others on their turf, beating others in being real, rich, lucrative?

   "Never tell a lie when I rap/only yesterday I was caught in a Venus Fly Trap/One false move I'm letting off shots/now . . . slowly . . . hand over the jelly babies mmmmm/undeniably the greatest sportsman/scored a hole-in-one the first time I played golf it was awesome/ if i said it in a rap so it must be true STUPID/if I told you 'eat shit' would you do it?/ By the way  - I was born of a dragons egg and get respect for playing the clarinet/ Reality's wack, I'm trying to escape/ FUCK THE TRUTH MAN I'M TRYING TO BE FAKE"

Looking at so much hip-hop in 2014, I see a race for realness, for that competetive edge, for whatever chance of crossover is forthcoming. I know I'd rather be on the freak train with Kash, heading out into his imagination. Making up what's real. Making every new second count with new thoughts, new images.Stupendous production from Zygote as always, he knows the devil's in the detail and beyond the fantastic low-slung fuzz-synth funk grind it's the sudden splashes of dubbed-out keys and flickering guitar that make 'The Cake Is A Lie' such a compellingly deranged delight.  This is music from minds that seek those moments when you think you're awake but realise your body and brain simply aren't hanging out together no more. Those moments when you stick your tongue in your own fractures and drink deep. The second track 'Vapourous' is even more of a molten mind-fuck. Often on EP#2040 the beats are like nothing else you can hear right now, certainly not from rap - more akin to something Cabaret Voltaire might've coughed up in their late 70s zenith, or like the bruising sluggish hard-blast of a Kevin Martin production (think God/Ice/TechnoAnimal era). Atop 'Vapourous'' primordial ooze of bass a whole frightmarish whirlwind of distended noise and echoes chases its own tail around your headspace, while somewhere in the midst of the carnage sits Kash aka Darq Twin, swirling his own vocal into dubbed out distorted infinities, advice on how to succeed in the endless bullshit-moebus of 'digital' reality.

"Masturbate to your digital person everyday/until your giant head detonates/you're so dangerous/vapourous/smoking that angel dust for the camera/It's all about the spectacle/I will go further than the truth if it's more entertaining/too cool for school get stupid/You're not famous enough? BE AN IDIOT"

'Part Machine', all stop-start robo-funk and smeared analogue texture, absolutely yearns for a new definition of humanity. Yearns to become half viscera, half circuitry but with none of the gliding romance of a Model 500 or Kraftwerk - rather what Kash seems to be expressing is a need to speed time up, bring the future forward a few millennia, accelerate closer to the science-fiction dreams his brain is stuffed with, the dreams that make his and our current intermediary state so massively frustrating. Throughout EP#2040 the heaviness of the concepts and the sheer pressure put on the vocals by the intense music is always beautifully leavened by Kashmere's attitude, his ability to rip the piss at the right moments, crack the po-facedness with a grin, come on like a futurist preacher when needs be.

"They wanna put a chip right there on my spine/I look em in the face like 'where do I sign'?/Part real part dream/ I really wanna be a part man part machine/You're scared of progress/I excel in it/Break out the robot in the car for the hell of it/You better loosen up your blazer/secret societies are doing us a FAVOUR!'

'Beast Moog' is the kind of instrumental 'Metal Box'-era P.I.L would be making right now, has those same harsh harsh beats that scare the shit out of you at the end of 'Careering' - 'Falcon Punch' is a deeply Chrome-like slab of psychedelic dancehall over which Kash's mouth runs away from him beyond my ability to transcribe him here, references to Super Smash Bros, V-dub, Thelonius Monk, Garth Merenghi slipping by at light-speed, demanding a rewind, and another and another until you can even catch a fraction of the imagery being sent your way. The 35th century griot of 'Strange Ones' kicks of with the line 'Standing on a planet made of amethyst' and then starts to get seriously wayward, demanding the return of Pangaea, a welter of P-funk references making a righteous and entirely correct connection with perhaps Strange U's true antecedents, one that gratifyingly doesn't leave out Funkadelic's darkness, weirdness, confusion.

'Destroy all borders/unify the four corners/atomic lizard mothership connection on some other shit/on one hit em with the bop gun/ they came & stole the fun but we shall overcome/Bring neon bright the flash light/we'll gather round the crater of the alien crash site/that's right get up for the downstroke/banging that funk for countrydwellers and townsfolk/ sounds dope it's psychoalphadiscobetabioaqua but never learned to swim though . . . "

 If the music and words Strange U shoot out were in any way a pose, in any way just an agglomeration of reference, I wouldn't even waste my time directing you towards them, let alone listen to them myself. What's key throughout EP#2040 is that there is DRIVE behind their ideas, a desperation to push through reality to somewhere else that feels as raging and as direct and dazzling as Sun Ra, P-Funk, Ornette, Jimi. Crucially, none of Strange U's 'learning' (and they're clearly people who know about music and literature and film and art and science and EVERYTHING with the suffused derangement of true seekers of knowledge) in any way inhibits them from making music that absolutely defies category, blasts apart all that lineage and chronology. Doesn't matter where they're from or where you're from. Just matters that when they're on you know where they and you are AT - listening to music that pushes you on, delights, disturbs, GETS to you in a big big way. Closing track 'Strange U In Africa' perfectly exemplifies this - you can tell the 'vibe' that's informed it, but it arrives at a place entirely unique, has a real livid seething sense of heat and stress, the bustling gritty funkativity of the finest Fela Kuti bootleg you never heard, the Idi-Amin-style vocal samples just adding to the bedlam and hilarity. The way the shard of traditional instrumentation is twisted out and pulled apart are as mind-melting as the moves Premo made on Jeru's 'Come Clean' but on every track of EP#2040 all that Strange U really share with their sources is a sense of spirit and intent. To make something brand new. Genuinely unheard as yet. Properly futuristic, ancient, magical. It's only when you really prod new music to see where that's happening that you realise exactly how rare it is. If the Mercury Music Prize wasn't a fucking joke, EP#2040 would win it at a canter - it's genuinely NEW BRITISH MUSIC and it's fucking awesome. Avail yourself immediately and feed your other current distractions to the lions on your lawn.
   All conquering music. Makes you stomp in those skyscraper boots. Turns you giant. Drink deep.

New Nineties US Edition - LABRADFORD: 20 Unanswered Questions

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        ****UPDATE: http://www.brainwashed.com/common/htdocs/discog/krank185.html****



In writing, chasing the people I wanted to talk to in A New Nineties, some of them never got back to me. Rodan. And Labradford. Sent these questions to the three of them on the 5th March 2013. Never got an answer. I know why, I think. The questions are appalling. But they sum up what I think about their still-amazing music. If any of Labradford see this, I'd still like to know your answers. Here's the original E-mail.

"OK guys, yes these are rambling, vague and somewhat unfocussed but I am rambling, vague and somewhat unfocussed so all apologies. To be fair, I start all over the place then get more specific -  answer anything you deem fit. Thanking you again in advance and all apologies if any of these questions bug the hell out of you. Waited 20 odd years to interview Labradford so any answers you can give are massively appreciated. As ever, thanks so so so much for the amazing music you made together and for being willing to talk about it now. Will  e-mail you links to the completed article once it’s online. Any time over the next few weeks is fine for the answers. Thanks again, Neil Kulkarni x
1.       

Were you simply arrangers/sonic architects/players with sound I don’t think I’d have been as fascinated/enraptured by Labradford as I was and still am. I think it’s the fact that within what you did were SONGS, pop songs actually, as melodically memorable as my favourite pop, and though often drumless, possessed of unmistakeable movement & rhythm. Is it fair to say that you weren’t interested in just doodling around aimlessly, THE SONG is always what guided the writing process and that structure and discipline interested you a hell of a lot more than abandonment or ‘freedom’?





2.       

I’m wondering how ideas were arrived at – jamming, visualisation (did you SEE the shape/feel of songs before you made them), sounds you wanted to explore that THEN got forced into songwriting structures? Was there a ‘typical’ Labradford process or was it all very random and (shudders to use the word cos so reminiscent of compost) ‘organic’? Did the processes change as Labradford went on? Did you alter the technology you used as time went on deliberately or just down to finding equipment you like playing around with? Was there ever an ‘intention’/’direction’ you wanted to go in that was discussed before recording took place or were things simply allowed to emerge?





3.      

Most bands keep adding to their sound, end up usually less effective/enjoyable as a result, with Labradford it seemed at times that what you were engaged in was the exact reverse, a steady stripping down, paring things down to that which was important and an increasing realisation that it’s what you CAN’T hear that can be crucial, the notes left out, the silences. It’s as if you ended up with MORE sounds doing LESS. A fair precis of the arc of Labradford’s creativity or an over-simplification (I imagine the latter!)?




4.    

   The old Miles Davis quote about ‘it’s about what you don’t play’ comes to mind – reason I harp on this point is because Labradford in a deep deep sense always seemed, though often instrumental (or at least lyrically obscure) to NAIL what it felt like to be alive, to be BETWEEN things, neither believing nor unbelieving, halfway between places and feelings. Feel free to tell me I’m barking up the wrong tree but in that inbetweeness I think is the crux of why Labradford work emotionally, still hit me in the gut.




5.       

OK, lets get down to some nitty gritty and nuts and bolts. I recall hearing, perhaps erroneously, that before Robert joined Labradford they were a lot noisier/Merzbow-like? Is that correct? What militated towards the band slowing down and developing along the lines that led to ‘Prazision’?




6.       

What was astonishing first hearing Prazision was that here was something seemingly already fully-formed, coming from out of nowhere like a bolt from the blue, utterly engulfing not just in terms of sound but the whole package, sleeve, titles etc. Was it always your intent not to be dictatorial about the style/meanings your music delivered but always to be massively SUGGESTIVE? Were you unsure/sure yourselves about exactly Labradford were ABOUT as such?



7.       

How isolated did you feel in the US at the time? Would you say you felt more akin to artists from Europe/elsewhere? What exactly were the influences swirling around in Labradford? What individually (not just musically but in terms of temperament and attitude and ambition) do you think you all bought to the table (feel free to talk about yourself and the others!)?




8.       

For me stuck over in England Labradford were always enchantingly remote. You didn’t slog thru the live-circuit, just delivered these amazing long-anticipated transmissions from the back of beyond every now and then. Was there an intention to have a ‘mystique’ or was that just a natural consequence of your personalities & what was going on at the time in the mainstream music-biz you were so far away from. Was there a weird disconnect between the attention you got in the UK, and that you received in the US?




9.       

Clearly, you wanted every album to be a move on, to be different. What do you think happened between ‘Prazision’ and ‘A Stable Reference’? Distillation? Refinement? Expansion?



10.   

Like Steely Dan, like the Band, always got the feeling Labradford didn’t really like playing live. Was I wrong? Saw you at the Union Chapel in London late 90s and you were incredible so clearly you COULD DO IT but didn’t do it that often. Why? Problems logistical (variability of venues/sound-provision) or personal (shyness)?


11.   

Inbetween ‘Stable Reference’ and the self-titled album you’re next heard on the oft-overlooked Duophonic single (esp. the fascinating b-side ‘Underwood 5ive’) and that split 12” on Trance Syndicate with Stars Of The Lid. Did remixing other people’s work, and hearing your own work remixed, change things as Labradford moved onwards or were you never ‘precious’ about your music in that sense? You never ‘abandoned’ the guitar as so many musicians did the further they got into sampling technology, what made you keep that umbilicus back to your ‘sound’ up until then?




12.   

At around the same time I seem to recall (again, I could be wrong)  you turning up on the Kevin Martin-curated ‘Isolationism’ compilation alongside people like Zoviet France, KK Null etc. Did you feel as time went on a growing sense of belonging with other artists (even if it never, thankfully, constituted a ‘scene’)? Did you ever feel constrained by that?




13.   

The self-titled album seemed to demonstrate a deeper immersion into samples & found sounds (a stronger sense of definite rhythm as well?) Is that fair? Also a wider palette of instrumentation? Or am I hearing things (all too likely) ? I hear a heavy British influence (Disco Inferno, Talk Talk, O’Rang, Bark Psychosis, drum’n’bass) and an increased sense of THE CITY in that record. Labradford is most emphatically always urban music isn’t it? Music for city life.





14.  

 I used to walk the streets with Labradford in my ears. You were the perfect soundtrack for movies of my own creation, directed and shot & lost on a constant basis with my vision as the lens. Yup, we were all a bit mad in the 90s but how did you envisage your music being ‘used’: concentrated on? Background sound to drop in and out of? Or didn’t you care how the music was being used so long as you got to express it? What, if any, were your ‘ambitions’ beyond being able to make the next record?


15.   

Mi Media Naranja’ as almost-previewed  in the last track of the self-titled album ‘Battered’ had a heavily suggestive, rich sound often labelled ‘cinematic’ – how accurate did you find the writing about Labradford? A necessary evil? Did you start seeing yourselves less as a band and more like composers (Morricone/Herrmann etc) for movies that didn’t exist? Did this necessitate the string section, the warmth of the Rhodes, the slide guitar? Would you say this is the first time Labradford felt confident enough to step out of ‘reality’ and into pure ‘imagination’, conjuring landscapes you emphatically didn’t live in, a certain amount of sonic ‘fantasy’ you hadn’t had before, an absolute disinterest in whether these soundscapes could be recreated live? And also, ‘Mi Media’ brings out all of your developing talents as musicians/producers/arrangers to a zenith. Would you say you were finally getting close to ‘perfection’? Did that worry you? As ever, if I’m wrong, tell me so.





16.   

Was time spent recording an endless hermetic process or something grabbed on the hop? Was there a typical ‘Working Day In The Life Of Labradford’ or did things only start happening once a decision was reached to record another record? I ask because there’s not a lot that’s very ‘bandlike’ about Labradford, none of the gang-mentality or ‘get in the van, man’ sense of endless toil. How democratic a process was the band? Did anyone dominate? Did you enforce a kind of mutual conciseness on each other?


17. 

  By the time of ‘E Luxo’ it seems that you’re actually getting increasingly frustrated with the constraints of being ‘recording artists’ altogether’, as if you’d rather put your music out with no titles, no barcodes, nothing to in any way affect or prejudice the listener in any sense to what they were hearing. The production & credits actually being the song titles is such a blindingly brilliant idea but I’m still unsure as to whether a point is being made or not?! There is that sense of the band pushing at the limits of possibility – perhaps a vague presentiment that Labradford’s days were numbered? ‘E Luxo’ works almost as a Rachel’s-style suite of classical/minimalist music, barely band-like at all. Were you shifting roles  within the band-unit at the time – it becomes increasingly impossible to actually unpick who is doing what (in direct contrast to the nuts/bolts nature of the songtitles) and the voice (whether sampled or distorted) has finally been abandoned altogether. Why?




18.  

 'E Luxo' is the album I remain most fascinated by so apologies for the slight monomania) – more than any other Labradford album E Luxo seems to have a sense of real environment and space – you can HEAR the room, the noises you made moving around it in a way other Labradford records didn’t have (either by sounding quite claustrauphobic or by conjuring up the world OUTSIDE the studio more than the studio itself). This revealing-of-the-bare-bones seems tied in with the song-titles, an almost Residents-like attempt to reveal the means of production? Overthinking on my part?




19.   

How did working with Albini on ‘Fixed::Context’ change the working dynamic of the band, what did he add/subtract to/from the recording process? It seems that where Labradford had been getting more detailed/lush, ‘Fixed::Context’ was a brutal paring down, an attempt to simplify. Did you know it would be your last album?


20.   

Labradford never officially ‘split’, no announcements, just dissappearance. Why? And would any of you consider Labradford dead and buried? Or there to be picked up at any time in the future? 













****UPDATE: http://www.brainwashed.com/common/htdocs/discog/krank185.html****

GREEN DAY - INSOMNIAC REVIEW, MELODY MAKER 25/10/95

MANIC STREET PREACHERS, ASTORIA, LONDON, 1994, LIVE REVIEW, MELODY MAKER

SPAIN, THE GARAGE, LONDON, 1995, LIVE REVIEW, MELODY MAKER

The Same Grim Boat: some more thoughts about my 'proper' job

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 THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. FOR FEAR HAS ME LYING AS WELL


 An emotionally perceptive student said to me late this week. 'You hate us, don't you?' I was flustered. Nailed me. I need a weekend to recharge, prepare. Teaching, to a large extent is about confidence and preparation creates confidence. Preparation impossible with teachers workloads at the moment. Gone from a time when you'd look forward to the holidays to looking forward to the weekend to looking forward to the end of the goddamned day. I'm worried that my frustration with the job is filtering through to students. Who deserve that ire the least. Thinking, with the morning sickness, the pit of fear the stomach hasn't experienced since games/P.E days at school, why I'm still doing this. A feeling amped up massively when I get home (tearing off the lanyard that annoints me with dread every time I put it on) and read the latest comments from our education secretary.

Here's what Nicky Morgan said, as reported in The Stage.

   "Many young people are making choices aged 15 which will hold them back for the rest of their lives". Lovely. I have yet to be told a single fucking reason why this shithead is our education secretary, just as I was never aware of a single fucking reason why the previous shithead (Gove) was our education secretary. The thinking seems to be purely about antagonising teachers. Almost immediately anyone who's ever worked in a creative field was apoplectic. In making these comments during an event intended to promote the teaching and learning of core subjects like maths and science Morgan might be forgiven for thinking she was playing to the crowd she was talking to, rather than thinking about everyone who'd hear about it, a little bit of 'carelessness'. I don't think it's carelessness at all. It's the only thing someone like her could say. Anything else would be true hypocrisy. Her statements are entirely revealing of what the Tories would reduce education to. A purely vocationally-minded career-preparing exercise with no inherent value in itself, and with arts/humanities subjects preserved purely as things the middle and upper classes can engage in while the rest of the riff-raff learn something immediately employable. Perpetuates the idea not only that the arts don't pay, but that the arts are something you have to pay to be involved in, a hobby to indulge, never a way to make a living. Know your place. And stay there. And don't you dare investigate any knowledge that might suggest the 'harsh realities of the marketplace' might be a lie. By the time I'd finished reading, I was interrupted by my eldest daughter coming home. In a mood. What's new, she's a teenager. But a parent can tell when a kid's holding something in.
   Went upstairs, asked some questions. Floods of tears. Sobbing. Because of school, because of the pressure she's under, because this is her GCSE year and her teachers are doing nothing but getting on the kids backs about achieving. These incessant mind-games are nothing new, they're the natural result of what happens when a teacher sees their job as delivering statistics, good figures, making sure percentage achievement rates don't slip, ever mindful that the stats, not the student's experience, is ultimately what matters to their managers. A target-related pressure kids are being absolutely brutalised under at the moment. Don't know a parent of a teenager who hasn't been astonished at the levels of stress kids are suffering about exams. And all that's being blared at them is career career career career, from their teachers all the way up to the education secretary. I gave her a hug, tried to give her a sense of perspective, the 'all you can do is try your best' platitudes all parents have to say when they see their kids put in pain by the panic in education, the twitchy paranoia of the Ofsteded and surveilled and threatened. The panic that's going on across the board in social and public services in the UK because public good has been forgotten in the name of increased efficiency and customer service. Pile the kids in, teach them cheap, education is now purely the creation of a trail of evidence, spooked by those eyes over the shoulder, the indoctrination of corporate truth (i.e corporate lies) that are all that management knows (because in the main now, they only come from the private sector) percolating down to the consciousness of people who previously thought that caring about kids, and trying your best, was enough. It's not enough now. As a teacher, your sole job is to prepare kids for employment, anything else is time wasting and will get you a disciplinary. A joy in learning of itself? How is that going to increase your ability to become a mortgage-slave? Knowledge that isn't 'useful to business'? That's not knowledge, that's pointless frippery. It's not the 70s anymore hippy. You are here to train children to work. Absolutely nothing else matters.



   The most common thing I've heard from teachers in the past year is dreams - of leaving, of walking away and oh how sweet that that flipped finger to the boss would be. And jokes - of being replaced by robots, of jacking it in and stacking shelves and being happy and not taking so much anguish home every night. These reveries punctuate the drudge, the horror. Teaching itself is the most enjoyable part of the day. It's a blessed relief from all the other shit you have to do to be allowed into that classroom, to keep the endless hovering boxtickers and number-crunchers off your back. But that classroom's not really yours. Don't con yourself. Observations will have knocked that idealism out of you. It's your job to knock the idealism out of kids and make them face up to reality. They must work, and work hard and focus on becoming appealing to business, a willing plaything of industry, as happy and fulfilled and tied to a role as all adults are in modern Britain. And from 12 onwards they must choose options about their future. They must decide how they're going to fit in, earn, settle into the pattern of anxiety and tranquilisation that is modern life. So my daughter's crying because of 'pressure'? Man up. Or starve to death. These are the options.



   People like Morgan shouldn't be allowed to despoil youth like this. The next day we have a Union meeting. College proposes we take a cut in holidays, no remission for planning/organising, make sick pay way more 'discretionary' and forfeit most of our pay progression. We all of course voted yay in rejecting it, but even in the notably increased militancy there was a trace of doom, a sense not of securing our futures in teaching but of ensuring we battle them every step of the way until we find a way out, or they find a way to force us out. Morgan's comments are indicative of alot, but perhaps scarier than that they're prophetic. The Tories are waiting for the greenlight of re-election to basically destroy whole swathes of British education, farm it out to private enterprise (whose management class have already colonised state institutions at management level). In five years 50% of FE courses will be delivered online and kids will be so scared they'll want nothing but apprenticeships. The only non-apprenticeship courses left in twenty years will be recruiting arms of the political and media class - i.e PPE at Oxbridge, that's yr lot. I was encouraged, cos I was ok at English, to try and get into Oxford. I failed massively, mind too full and disordered. No-one made me think it was the end. No-one made me worry about it before or afterwards. When I tell my students that they have their whole lives to get on the gravy-train, to be saddled with responsibilities of providing for a family and that when they're young they should explore their own imaginations they hear it with increasing surprise. No-one in their lives is asking them - do they want to look back at their twenties and be able to point at a balance sheet and say 'look how much debt I paid off'? I, like many people who've worked in the 'creative sector' (i.e dicking around doing what you want) am in that blissful state of being able to look back at my twenties and not really remember much of it because I was having too good a time. Lots of misery as well but at least it was on my own terms and I can look back and think, I gave what I love and care about my best shot. Kids need to have their perspectives on the world and their possibilities in it WIDENED, not narrowed down at a heartbreakingly early age to how they're going to survive, get ahead, be 'competetive'. For fucking shame Mrs Morgan, for fucking shame.


   Crucially, it's that whole deeper idea here that Morgan perpetuates that's dangerous -  that art and science can't learn from each other, aren't already massively enmeshed, aren't BOTH creative acts. Suggests just how little Morgan, and her cohorts, understand about both. Tremendously irresponsible and insensitive for an education secretary to basically be saying to tons of kids - hey, you're not good at maths/science? You're fucked. Appalling thing to say, to science kids and arts kids.  I wonder also if she's actually spoken to any maths/science graduates recently? If she thinks they're all doing jobs closely related to what they studied or specialised in she's fucking deluded, they're in the same grim boat as most school-leavers and graduates alike. Working slave labour for slave wages. Suits the Tories to divide us all. Much as they have made the working poor hate the workless poor, the native hate the auslander, they want to place science at odds with art, force upon all of us categories of acceptability whereby arts disciplines can be portrayed as mickey-mouse undisciplined navel-gazing wasteful passes to a life of unemployability, whereas maths/science pursuits can ONLY be engaged in in order to improve your future income prospects. Utterly ignores the way that the creative arts work. I worked for 20 odd years in a creative role and was never asked my qualifications. Was about confidence and ability, not bits of paper. Also utterly denigrates and ignores the wide complexity of reasons why people study maths and science. Never met a mathematician whose aesthetic sense wasn't just as important in what they did as anything else, never met a scientist or mathematician who didn't have deep utterly unfinancial reasons of curiosity and wonder and enjoyment behind what they decided to study. The likes of Morgan, Cameron, could never understand that. And we should all make it plain that their attempts to divide us between the can-dos and the cant-be-arsed isn't fooling anyone. They would seek to reduce every single mental endeavour in life down to that which can be proved fiscally productive and profitable. That's as dangerous to science as it is to art, and reveals a thickheaded obliviousness to the purpose and possibilities of life that's staggering. Only a cabinet composed of corporate lawyers, business bullies and PR men could endorse such an attitude. Unfortunately that's exactly what we've got.

 

   I'm sure Morgan worked hard at her five-grand a term private school and in her pre-MP job in corporate law that so entitles and enables her to commandeer the education of our nation, be the frontperson of its ongoing discharge into the hands of business. But any parent knows, and any teacher knows, what kids need is balance. Yes they should be encouraged to do well at school. They also need to know that failure is not the end. They also need to know that life is long, they are young, and all kinds of odd things can happen. They need to know that life is not as simple as feeding qualifications into a machine that will then pay you. We haven't got credit-scored chips and pins in our necks yet. In Morgan's comments, in this government's inability to see the point in anything beyond the ceaseless accumulation of wealth for a privileged elite you hear a vision of life that's horrific, inaccurate, no kind of life any of us would want to be part of. It's the Tory vision of the future and I suspect in my most pessimistic days and nights it will all become true. But if my job as a teacher is dependent on my ability to present that mercenary future as the only option then I want out. If I'm meant to tell kids that the future will be a vital'n'vibrant meritocracy that kids should want to be part of, that kids should work until they sob with the stress to be part of, then I'd rather leave that game to the cowed and desperate, and once they're fired the glassy-eyed Academy/Freeschool evangelists the Torys would like to be dealing with. Morgan's suggestion that kids should strictly limit their ambitions and dreams down to that which will enable them to become another ground out gear in the machine is an evil lie no teacher wants to be part of. Until I am forced out of my job I will make it my business to tell every kid I teach that the government are lying to them but crucially,  that life is too wonderful to plan for. You should believe that when you're young. One day you'll grow up and realise it.
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